


Deification

by Chromomanticore



Series: No such thing as god complex [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Afterlife, Bible Quotes, Biblical References, Confused Shizuo, Humor, Izaya being a God, Izuo - Freeform, LITERALLY, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Religious Humor, Trolling, Valkyries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-02-04 00:26:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12759324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chromomanticore/pseuds/Chromomanticore
Summary: Izaya Orihara claimed himself to be a god on a daily basis. Those few that actually listened to him had their opinions differing. Some just put it aside as a facade talk. Others simply considered him crazy. The only thing no one ever assumed was the possiblity of him being right. Set after God's Perspective. Highly recommended to read the one-shot first.





	1. Exodus

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back! What comes here is the main story and although it's not a must I would still strongly recommend you to read God's Perspective before this one. Basically the whole idea might have seemed pretty messed up in the oneshot, but it'll now start to get much clearer. So, here it is. Have a good time reading. And comment please, your opinion means a lot to me!
> 
> I don't own Durarara. *sighs*

Shizuo slowly opened his eyes. The last thing he remembered was falling down from that skyscraper with Izaya. But that meant that he should be dead now, right? He stood up and looked around. He was in Ikebukuro, right under the building they fell from. Though, he realized after a moment, something was missing. People, to be precise. The whole city seemed empty and somewhat quiet. It was creepy, seeing Ikebukuro like this, looking ... dead.

" Heiwajima Shizuo?" Hearing a human voice he abruptly turned on his heel, only to be met with a sight so absurd that he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. There, opposite to him, riding a magnificent war stallion, was a woman. She wore a glistening, golden armor, which tightly squeezed her enormous breast and had a massive two handed sword at her waist. Her long blond hair were flowing like a waterfall from underneath a massive horned helm. But that wasn't the part that put him into such shock, no. Because there was one tiny, little thing about the woman that Shizuo's brain, even while being friends with a headless Dullahan, couldn't process. Wings. Two magestic, golden, angelic wings with a metallic luster.

"You are Heiwajima Shizuo, right? I'm here to take you to the Valhalla." The woman asked again, smiling warmly, as to help him accustome to the weird situation. Shizuo nodded slowly, not really sure how to react. Then, something in what the weird woman has said struck him.

"Where?" The woman blinked. Then, much to Shizuo confusion, she facepalmed.

"Fuck, stupid me! Sorry for that, I forgot that you don't know anything. Heh, now that I think about it, you must be quite confused. Okay then, let's start again. First, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Þrúðr, a Valkyrie" While saying her name the Valkyrie made a sound somehow similar to "throother", so Shizuo just figured that he would have to call her that, if he wanted to call her anything at all, that is. He wasn't really sure how to treat this weird being, but after thinking for a bit he decided to just act normal and see what happens. It worked with Celty, right?

"Nice to meet you then, Throoter, I'm Shizuo Heiwajima" Now it was Throother's turn to blink. She froze, only to burst into laughter after a moment. After she calmed down, she smiled at him nicely

"Oh, well, I didn't see that one coming. Good to meet someone without an empty stare for once. Okay, so let me explain. Basically, you are dead. Normally what happens next, is your soul getting destroyed and then the raw soul essence merging with the collective consciousness." Hearing that, Shizuo flinched, not feeling very comfortable with his soul being destroyed. No, no matter how he thought about it, it didn't sound like a nice thing at all. But, before he got a chance to speak, the Valkyrie spoke again. "But, you see, there is a catch. And that would be what you humans call afterlife. There are two places that a soul can go, apart from merging with the consciousness. Of course, there are certain conditions the soul must meet to go to one of them." That somehow sounded familiar. Shizuo wasn't really a believer, but he still had a certain level of knowledge about religions, Christianity included.

"Like heaven and hell?" He asked, while hoping to get a negative answer. He was aware that there is just no way for a violent person like him to go to heaven and, to be honest, the alternative wasn't very alluring.

"Well, you could say that, but in reality it's a bit more complicated. The Valhalla is what you would call heaven. It's a place that can be reached only by the brave souls of those who died fighting and killing their enemy on the battlefield. Nihil, on the other hand, would be the equivalent of hell. It is designed for those, who died committing suicide. You, of course are going with me to Valhalla. After all your death was an honorable one, making sure that your enemy died." She smiled sweetly saying that, which in combination with the meaning of her words, caused a shiver to run down Shizuo's spine. How the hell could someone be so cheerful while talking about people deaths?

"And what about the flea?" He just couldn't help, but ask. After all, Izaya died too, right?

"You mean that guy, that you killed, right? Well, while I can't say for sure, he's probably already disappeared. After all, he died a normal death. You see, we have a way that lets us monitor every humans death from their perspective. If someone meets the criteria for the Valhalla, we send a Valkyrie. As for Nihil, it is managed automatically. So you don't have to worry, right?" Somehow, the idea of Izaya not existing anymore seemed weird to Shizuo. Their constant fights, after 7 years, have become part of his life. Plus, the thought of actually killing someone, even if that someone was that parasite, still made him uncomfortable. Sure, he always said that he would kill the flea one day, but just saying it and actually murdering him were completely different.

"So, if heaven and hell exist, what about a God?" Shizuo asked quickly to change a subject. He didn't feel like talking about Izaya at the moment. Hearing his question, Throother's smile fell a bit. She scowled before answering.

"Yeah, there is a person like that. Or at least there was. He created the world, humans and even us. Though he wasn't all-powerful. And definitely not good. To be honest, apart from the creation part, he was closer to your idea of Satan. He used to treat humans as his playthings, enjoying everything about them, their suffering included." Well, Shizuo for sure hasn't expected that. This guy really didn't sound good, quite a contrast to the idea of God he knew. After hearing that, Shizuo couldn't help but be curious.

"And what happened to him?"

"We found a way to seal him. Right now he is wandering in the human world, without any recollection of what he once was. After his current body dies, he reincarnates into another one. Oh, but let's not talk about that asshole. After all, you've just become an Einherjar, qualified to live in the Valhalla! Let's not waste any more time." She smiled at him, saying that and held her hand in front of him, her intent to get him on a horse obvious.

At that, Shizuo took his time to think for a bit. After he follows the Valkyrie, he is going to leave all his previous life behind. All of his friends, family, he wasn't going to meet any of them. On the other hand, he didn't really have any other options. If what Throother said was true, he could follow her to the Valhalla or just simply disappear. Like the flea.

"And to think that I won't see Izaya ever again. That feels just weird."

"Exactly. Oh, you just couldn't imagine how much I hated the bastard! The day he disappeared was the best of my life! I just... Wait, what did you say?! How do you know him?" Well, that was weird. He didn't think that it was possible for that parasite to get even the heavenly, angel-like beings to hate him. Even for him, with his hatred for Izaya as deep as the ocean, the idea seemed somewhat odd. But before he got a chance to answer, a familiar stench reached his nose and a cheerful voice rang in his ears.

"Now, that wasn't a nice thing to do, Shizu-chan! How impolite of you, spoiling all the fun just like that." Following those words, a silhouette clad in a fur-trimmed coat emerged right from behind the Valkyrie. Yes, there he was, Izaya fucking Orihara. Shizuo couldn't believe his eyes. Just how? How did this blood sucking parasite survive? But, as he looked on Throother, Shizuo realized that he wasn't the one in the biggest shock here. After hearing Izaya, she fell off the horse and now just simply stayed there eying him, hatred mixed with fear in her eyes.

"Y... you! How?! What are you doing here?! " She finally managed to stutter, causing Izaya to giggle.

"Oh that's simple , Þrúðr - chan!" Shizuo couldn't help noticing, that Izaya pronounced the weird name in the exactly same way as the woman did before, nowhere similar to his own crude version of Throother.

"For you see, there's been a small misunderstanding. Shizu-chan over here didn't kill a single human in his life. As for his death, he simply jumped to it, achieving nothing this way. As so, he's not going to Valhalla. Instead, I, being very grateful of how he helped me, will personally take him to Nihil. Now, isn't that so nice of me? Though first, sorry here for the inconvenience, Shizu-chan, I must take care of a little personal affair of mine. Namely, a little, goofy Valkyrie, who was so nice to arrive right where and when she's needed! " Hearing the flea talk like this, always so cheerful and annoying, even while talking about some fucked up afterlife shit, was a straw that broke camel's back for Shizuo. He growled, feeling the anger boiling inside of him, filling him to the brim. Izaya simply laughed at that, but instead of running away, like always, he instead lunged himself at the mouthe-wide Valkyrie and, before she got time to react, placed his hands on her head. Shizuo froze. Throother screamed. Under Izaya's touch her flesh and bones melted , transforming into a whirlpool of golden liquid, which started to shine brightly, right after it touched Izaya's skin.

Quickly, the whole Valkyrie dissipated, leaving nothing behind, not even a pile of ash. Izaya on the other hand, quickly got surrounded by a layer of gold. After a moment it got absorbed by him, making him, instead, shine brightly. Then the light shifted to his back, ultimately transforming into a pair of beautiful, ebony wings. Completely ignoring the dumbfounded Shizuo, Izaya stretched, yawning at that.

"Oh damn, how I missed this! Honestly, three centuries acting human, these gold-clad bitches are so going to pay for this! Well, but that can wait. Now, shall we get going, Shizu-chan?"


	2. Deuteronomy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, it's Chromo. The second chapter is up. From now on I'll be trying to give you at least one every week, before wednesday, but I might have some failures, so please forgive me if I fail to do so. Also, thank you all for the reviews. I'm really glad that someone is actually enjoying these, it gives a lot of satisfaction. So, have fun with this chapter. It contains quite a lot of exposition, but you'll have to forgive me on that, it's needed for the whole idea to function. Please read and review.
> 
> Also, I don't own Durarara.

Putting Shizuo Heiwajima in shock couldn't really be considered an easy thing to accomplish. The man was capable to throw vending machines, had a headless woman as his best friend, battled an army of mindless people with glowing red eyes and didn't even flinch when he was shot. As one could see, he was quite accustomed to not-exactly-common situations and so, was rarely surprised. And yet, it had already happened twice that day. First, after he died, jumping from a skyscraper with Izaya Orihara and met a Valkyrie which stated that she will take him to some kind of heaven, Valhalla. Then, he witnessed Izaya, who Shizuo was nearly sure, he has recently killed, murdering said Valkyrie and somehow absorbing her, only to grow himself a pair of black, angelic wings. After he did so, the flea completely ignoring the dumbfounded Shizuo, simply stretched, yawning at that.

"Oh damn, how I missed this! Honestly, three centuries acting human, these gold-clad bitches are so going to pay for this! Well, but that can wait. Now, shall we get going, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo felt the rage build up inside of him. Of course, he was aware that in a situation like that, when he didn't get have any fucking clue what exactly was happening, going into a blind rampage wasn't exactly the wisest thing to do. But there was one major problem with not doing so. The person right in front of him was Izaya! A flea, ruining his life on a daily basis. And, to be honest, Shizuo's brain hasn't yet processed everything that happened up to this point. So, it was quite a relief for the poor thing, to finally be placed in a familiar situation. Here, in front of him was Izaya, minor details like wings and a fact that he just somehow killed a magical being, which was supposed to fetch death souls to the afterlife ignored, smirking and calling him "Shizu-chan". And, as if just to make it better, there was a heavy looking object, namely a vending machine, standing nearby. With that, there was only one correct thing to do.

Shizuo growled, previous confusion now replaced with hot, white fury. He then proceeded to walk towards the earlier mentioned vending machine, his intentions of throwing it at the winged parasyte quite obvious at this point. Izaya chuckled at that, clearly not trying to hide his amusement.

"Now, that's just rude, Shizu-chan. Here I'm, saving you from an eternity in a meeting point for fanatics, that is Valhalla, even offering to take you to Nihil with me and what do you do? Attempt to smash me to death with a heavy piece of public property. Again. Sure, do as you wish, but I must warn you Shizu-chan, that won't exactly work."

"Oh, shut up, flea! I killed you once, I can do it again. So stand still, so I can murder you!" Izaya only giggled at that, as expected not frightened by the threat. Still, it somehow made Shizuo feel better. This whole situation, even with the clearly abnormal elements taken into account, was somewhat familiar. Yes, Shizuo was sure. Now, the only thing he needed to do was to throw the vending machine at Izaya and then start chasing him out of Ikebukuro. After that, he would slowly figure everything out. Unfortunately though, once the ex-bartender approached his favorite tool of destruction, an unexpected betrayal took place. Namely, the vending machine rebelled against Ikebukuro's fortissimo, treacherously not allowing itself to be either picked up or thrown. 'No, just no. That's not happening.' Shizuo thought at that, dumbfounded. He refused to believe it. There had to be a limit of absurd one is supposed to face on a single day.

But, no matter how hard he tried, the goddamn machine remained unmoved. And with that, Shizuo's already overloaded mind finally refused cooperation. He just didn't know what to do at that point. Then, Izaya's laughter broke the silence.

"Pfft! Hahaha, Shizu-chan, that was hilarious! Honestly, one could think that I haven't told you beforehand that it was meaningless. Okay, it seems that I'll first have to explain a few things to you, before we set off to Nihil. Really, in that state you're a worse ignorant than those Einherjar and trust me on this one, that's really something. Well, I guess that is no surprise here. After all I shouldn't really expect those bitches to have any explaining capabilities at all. Not after my three centuries long forced vacation, that is. " And with that, something in Shizuo's not-quite-yet-working brain actually finally clicked.

"You are a god?" He asked finally. This whole idea seemed just too stupid. But, even though it sent a chill down his spine when he thought about it, it was the only answer he could actually think of.

The god mentioned by Throother was sealed into human body. Izaya said that he was away for three centuries, acting human.

Throother's reaction after she saw Izaya. She knew him and was clearly afraid of him. And, at least for now, Shizuo couldn't think of any other being capable of scaring the Valkyrie.

And finally the way in which Izaya absorbed her. That wasn't something a normal person was supposed to do.

He honestly half-expected Izaya to laugh at that. To tell him how this was all a really elaborate scheme, made to humiliate him. Instead, the flea simply grinned at him, before nodding.

"Woah, carefull here, protozoan. Few more things like that and I might just accuse you of being capable of thinking. Why yes, I am a god, the one and only~. So, as you see, killing me might turn out to be a little bit on the harder side." And Shizuo actually found himself accepting this. Okay, the flea is a god. Because why not? It actually didn't make any less sense than some other things that already happened. Hell, it actually explained a lot of them. Though there were still some he didn't understand at all, his lack of ability to throw a vending machine being a great example of such. But how was he supposed to ask Izaya about that? They weren't exactly on what one could call 'civil terms'. Quite the opposite, actually. Their relationship was so poor that even a normal civil conversation was something completely unusual. Luckily though, it turned out he didn't have to raise any questions, because Izaya started explaining on himself.

"Let's start from the beginning then. There are three worlds: Earth, Valhalla and Nihil, all of them using the same physical matrix. The place we are currently in is Nihil. It's the place that all of the souls go to after death. Then, those who died killing a human that could be identified as their enemy, are taken by the golden bitches, or as some prefer, the Valkyries, to Valhalla and those who killed themselves stay here. As for the rest, their soul is exiled from all three worlds and then ripped apart to join the collective consciousness. Are you keeping up, Shizu-chan? Or maybe I should repeat myself? After all we don't want your tiny, protozoan brain to implode." Shizuo grit his teeth at the obvious insult, but somehow managed to keep his temper in check. After all, he was very well aware that Izaya was right now the only source of information he could get.

"Yes, flea, I'm keeping up. Please continue."

"Great! If it keeps like this maybe in a few centuries you will reach the basic level of personal culture. Now, that's something really worth looking forward to! Okay then, let's go on. As I said before, all three worlds use the same matrix. Which basically means that all of them look the same, contain the same cities, mountain ranges and oceans. But there is one major difference. Both Nihil and Valhalla are affected by changes made on Earth. And although Einherjar and Valkiries can change Valhalla, the citizens of Nihil don't have that privileige. That's why you weren't able to lift the vending machine. Because it's still in its place on Earth. Of course it only works like this on some things. That is due to the little thing called 'spirit', which is basically an object's self consciousness. There two ways for an object to get a spirit. First is size. The bigger a certain object is, the bigger the chances of it having one. Second is by contact with humans. They leave a bit of their soul essence on objects they interact with, only to collect it when they die. That soul scraps combine, helping to create a spirit. Buildings have a spirit nearly by default, because of their size. Other than that, there are things which a lot of humans have contact with. Like vending machines for example." Okay, that sounded really annoying. He couldn't throw vending machines because they didn't agree to it? That was probably just some bullshit, completely made up by the flea, but Shizuo didn't have any better theory, so for now he had to stick with this one.

"And that's pretty much how it works here. Easy, right? Now, we should really make our leave. You see, the number of suicidal people is actually pretty limited. And so, they all fill into one Earth metropolis pretty nicely, without the need to be spread all over the world. This city functions under the same name, Nihil and is currently placed in London. Few centuries ago it was Moscow and before that, Rome."

"Why?"

"Really, I thought that this part is obvious. I simply choose myself a favorite city from time to time and then order a great exodus." Izaya tried to seem annoyed by the need to explain everything, but in his eyes Shizuo saw something completely different. There was amusement there, paired with excitement and even a trace of something else. Pride? Possible, after all, considering the whole god thing, flea was probably talking about his very own creation. The idea of the world itself being created by Izaya was too alien and Shizuo simply chose not to think about it for now.

"That sounds incredibly selfish flea, but that's not what I meant. Why do you bring me along? What are you trying to get by that?"

"First things first, Shizu-chan. I have every right to be selfish about something that I made. As for your question, it's quite easy. You see, you really gave me a big favor with luring that bitch down to me. So, you can consider this by me, repaying it. But I guess that's not the main reason. To put it simply..." Here, Izaya approached Shizuo, leaning towards him, up to the point of making the latter feel uncomfortable.

"You amuse me, Shizu-chan. And I have no reason not to take my favorite toy back home." Izaya finally whispered, right into his ear. Then, everything began to disappear, replaced by a bright light. Finally only the sound of Izaya's voice remained, soon to also fade away on the empty streets of Ikebukuro.

"So let's go home, Shizu-chan. To Nihil"


	3. Kanaan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everoyne! This one took a bit longer to write, but I still made it in time, so everything's good. I finally managed to conclude the exposition part, yay! From now on it will be mostly the story, so I hope that you're happy. As always, have fun reading. Read and review please!
> 
> I don't own Durarara

After the blinding light faded away, Shizuo was met with an astonishing view. They were standing on a passage between two massive towers, more than 30 meters above the ground level. In front of them flowed a river, its shores connected by two bridges, one of them standing directly underneath them, other a few hundreds meters away. On both sides of the river laid a city. London, he deduced from what Izaya said earlier, completely silent, apart from the howls of wind, playing on bridge stanchions.

"Ne, Shizu-chan, remember how last time you made us both fall from that building? That was really unfair of you. If the Valkyre hadn't arrived, all of my plans would have been wasted and I would reincarnate again, without any memory of who I am. Really, I must admit, you scared the shit out of me, back then. And so, I think that needs to be evened out~." And before Shizuo could process the meaning hid behind those words, Izaya jumped at him, making him lose his balance and both of them fall down, towards the quickly approaching bridge. The dam flea laughed, seeing his terrified expression and, as to make it even worse, started to sing.

"From London Bridge we're falling down, falling down, falling down. From London Bridge we're...'' Shizuo screamed, seeing the distance between them and concrete shrinking, his voice mixing with Izaya's and the clamour produced by the quickly moving air. Suddenly, when there was nothing more but mere seconds left until they crashed, Izaya spread his wings, making them slow down considerably and finally land safely on the ground. Only then did Shizuo realize that on their way down he had clinged to Izaya, which now caused the tip of his ears to redden in embarassment, as he quickly jumped away from the smirking parasite.

"Actually, London Bridge is standing over there. The one we are currently on, is, in fact, Tower Bridge. It's much more well known, from here the common mistake. I would prefer to sing this song, while jumping from the London Bridge, but unfortunately it's too short for it to make any sense. A pity, don't you think, Shizu-chan?" The only answer that Shizuo, who was still shaken from nearly crashing into the asphalt, was able to produce to that was a deadly glare shot in Izaya's direction. Unfortunately, it didn't cause any reaction from the damn sadist. Instead he simply started walking towards the city, forcing Shizuo to follow if he didn't want to get lost in the unknown city.

The streets were empty and quiet, much like Ikebukuro they left recently. Yes, quiet. Because, surprisingly, Izaya for once was silent. He seemed lost in thougt, to the point it seemed he forgotten about his companion. He was smiling, too. Not with his trademark, cruel smirk, no. It was, for once, a warm, genuine smile. And this, Shizuo realized, was the first time he actually saw the other male smilig. Quite a shocking thing to witness, if someone was to ask him. However, that warm smile evaporated as soon as they met the first human.

Someone was sitting under the wall of an old, deserted building. Shizuo wasn't able to tell what sex was the creature, their form warped, arms curled around the legs. Their body was clad in some dirty, tattered rags, which, after further examination, could be once described as an elegant, ball dress. It was a woman, Shizuo finally concluded after finding out the origins of a rag. She lifted her face looking at them with empty, uninterested stare. At that sight, Izaya sighed sadly, his voice lacking the usual malice.

"That happens sometimes. When facing a pressure that is too hard for them to bear, humans tend to break. Some of them become aggresive, some kill themselves and some just simply lose contact with the surrounding, like that fellow here. Here, seeing as everyone is already dead, the 'killing yourself' option is no longer avalaible. So, other possibilities are created. I used to focus on not allowing anyone in Nihil to become like that, as after your soul goes numb here, there is nothing left. And you see, Shizu-chan, I really love my humans, and don't like losing them to their grief. However, it seems the golden bitches didn't take proper care of this place in my absence. Well, I guess that's nothing unexpected, they always despised everyone apart from themselves and maybe Einherjar." Izaya explained calmly, a look of sorrow on his face, as he viewed the pitiable creature in front of them.

Shizuo found himself disbelieving. The flea actually expected him to buy that crap? Did he really think that by acting like a normal person with feelings, he would cause Shizuo to fall for his tricks? Shizuo was sure, Izaya was just plotting something and wanted to manipulate him to make him a pawn. That bastard. He found himself getting more and more annoyed and decided to stay silent, hoping that Izaya would also do so. And luckily, he did. After they left the 'broken' human behind, the omnipresent smirk returned to Izaya lips, as he absorbed the city's view. Later on, the number of 'broken' increased steadily, however it seemed that after seeing the first one, Izaya was no longer surprised nor upset, simply acknowledging the fact of their existence while eyeing them curiously. At some point, he even started to skip, causing a vein to budge on Shizuo's forehead.

Suddenly, as Shizuo's irritation was dangerously nearing the level of 'Damn! I'll kill the damn flea! I'll fucking eviscarate him and watch his guts flow down the street as I..." and so on, they were met with a surprised shout.

"Master Izaya! Is that really you?!" The one yelling was a middle-aged European man in an unindentified clothing and as soon as his voice rang out, a giant crowd of people flowed out from nearby alleys and buidlings, their faces full of hope as they approached them.

"Master Izaya?!"

"Has he returned?!"

"Master!"

"Did someone say [Master Izaya]?!" *

"We're finally safe now!"

Okay, that was just wrong. Of course, Shizuo was aware that Izaya was a great manipulator and there were some people that were fascinated with him. Damn, he even had his own private fanclub in highschool. But that..., that was a whole new level. Those people were crazy! After a moment they were surrounded by a great mass of people. As soon as they saw Izaya, they stopped immediately though, kneeling and looking at him faithfully. Shizuo felt himself becoming even more pissed off.

Seeing them like this, Izaya smirked and spread his wings to fly onto a nearest building's balcony. Those mad people turned to him immediately, completely ignoring Shizuo. He took this chance to get away into some alley nearby, not wanting to get mixed with flea's followers. Because really, what the fuck was that?! While Shizuo somehow accepted the fact of Izaya being a deity, it didn't change anything about him being a sadistic piece of shit. Were this people blind to actually worship him?! That was just creepy.

"Hello there, everyone! Why yes, I have finally managed to get back. Honestly speaking, those golden bitches nearly managed to take me down this time. I was actually pretty lucky to get out. Isn't it terrible? But don't worry, my lovely humans! Now that I'm back I'll clean the mess that they made. So spread the word, everyone! Your god is back!"

Hearing the flea's crazy rumbling and seeing those people actually having tears of happiness in their eyes, Shizuo felt the urge to throw something really heavy at him. But he decided against it and simply punched the nearest wall. Of course, nothing happened, the wall remained intact, but Shizuo still felt slightly better.

"Whoa, caution about that, friend. You'll only cause yourself pain doing that." The voice behind him caused the ex-brtender to abruptly turn around. In front of him, smiling friendly, stood a man, seemingly in his 30's. He wore a surprisingly clean black leather coat over a black t-shirt and jeans.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, my apologies. I forgot to introduce myslelf. My name is Andrew Cunanan. I died in 1997. Please pardon me if I'm wrong, but I got a feeling that you aren't exactly enjoying the spectactle?" Andrew pointed towards the crowd surrounding Izaya. Huh, so there were still some sane people left? Shizuo was happy, really. He got a feeling that if this whole 'our Lord and Savior Izaya' thing continued any longer he will get crazy.

"I'm Shizuo Heiwajima. I, uh, I died today. Something like an hour ago. And yeah, you got it right. I hate the bastard. Are all of those guys stupid or something? That flea is evil for fuck's sake!" Cunanan seemed surprised by that, but then he just smiled and chuckled. He raised his hand forward and Shizuo gladly shook it. It felt nice to finally find someone normal in this whole fucked up situation.

"Oh my, so you're new here. It seems pretty weird at first, but you actually get used to it. But wait, if you only came today and you already know how absurd are those hypocrytic sheeps to worship him then either you have precognition or you knew him in previous life?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. This parasite plagued me my whole life, ruining it. And now I'm dead and it turned that not only he followed me, but he also claims to be a god. And what kind of sick joke is that?" At that the other male gave him a sympathetic look.

"Damn, you really got it terrible. Personally I've never met him, but ever since I died I kept hearing stories about how great 'Master Izaya' is and how his return will bring happiness and justice to all. And you know what? I don't buy this shit. There's no such thing as common happiness and justice. If one wants to be happy, they just have to create happiness for themselves." At that, Shizuo couldn't help but nod. The guy was right. Whoever got an idea that the flea would solve their problems definietely had to have a loose screw.

"Anyway, since you've just arrived that means you don't have a place to stay, right? I live nearby, maybe you want to stay at my place until you find something for yourself. Of course, if you don't want to we can just find you some nice empty flat. I don't want to be pushy after all." The blond male smiled gratefully at that. He still wasn't exactly sure how things worked in this place and this guy was really helpfull. If there were more people like that maybe the place wasn't so bad. That is, of course, if you don't take crazed flea-worshippers into the picture.

"If that's not a problem than I would gladly take the offer. I've only just arrived and still am pretty dazed." Cunanan's eyes shone at that and he smiled widely.

"Of course it's not. My place it is, then." Shizuo followed Andrew through the streets and soon they arrived under a small house surrounded by a nice garden. After they entered, he found himself standing in a bright living room arranged in a modern style. The floor was covered with fluffy white carpet and there was even a fireplace.

"Wow, your house is pretty nice."

"Well, it's not really mine, but still, thanks. I'm sure the real owners on Earth would be glad to hear it." Okay, so that was a stupid thing to say. Seriously, since it wasn't possible to change anything here how did he expect that guy to actually build something?

"Anyway, make yourself at home. You can take the guest bedroom upstairs. Go ahead, check it out. I'll make you some tea." Shizuo nodded at that and went in the pointed direction. The bedroom was nice, walls painted in a chocolate brown and white furniture. He sat on the bed. It was really soft and he took his sweet time to aknowledge it. For the first time since his death he felt that it was going to be alright. Soon Andrew joined him and passed him a steamy cup of tea. Shizuo gladly took it.

"How was it even possible for you to make tea? I thought that things don't change here." He asked curiously sipping the hot drink. It felt nice and he actually found himself becoming sleepy. Well, no matter how you look at it it was a tiring day after all.

"That's the case only with big things. While we aren't able to build anything, small issues like preparing food aren't really a problem. That's a nice thing at all, but seeing how..." Listening to Andrew's voice, Shizuo felt his eyelids becoming heavy. Soon, he drifted to sleep, causing a smile to appear on Cunanan's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Congratulations to all Wow fans that got this one. ;)
> 
> And btw Andrew Cunanan is a real person. But unless you want some major spoilers for the next chapter don't google him.


	4. The Sin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely people, Chromo here! I finally managed to get this one done! Sorry if it's a bit short, I originally planned to make it much longer, but ultimatley decided to split it into two chapters. And so, there's a chance that there will be one more chapter before the end of this week, I don't promise anything though. Thanks for all of you reviews, I'm glad that you liked the last part. Also, grats to everyone who didn't google Andrew Cunanan. Although, I guess most of you got the general idea of his character even without it. Anyway, have fun, reading this chapter ~
> 
> Oh, yeah, I also don't own Durarara

When Shizuo woke up, for the first few, beautiful, seconds he thought he's had a very weird dream. However, as soon as he opened eyes, that nice idea shattered, smashed by merciless reality. The room he was in, sure as hell wasn't his own and the city outside the window obviously wasn't Tokyo. Turns out it wasn't a dream after all, huh?

The sun was high in the sky and he assumed it had to be the thing him up, seeing as the rays of light were shining right into his eyes, nearly blinding him. He tried to rise his hand to shelter his eyes, but surprisingly, he failed. And very soon he realized why. As he looked down on himself, he saw that all of his limbs were tightly tied up to bed, restraining him completely. He tried to break ropes, but his strength once again failed him. A furious growl escaped his lips at that, but it was pretty much all he could do. He was at his captor's mercy.

He heard footsteps from outside of the room, it seemed that his growls have alarmed the kidnapper. The door opened and person responsible for putting him in this state came in, wicked smile plastered on his mouth.

"Oh, I see you woke up. Honestly, I'm surprised. The drug I gave you should keep you asleep for a few more hours, but well, it doesn't really matter."

Shizuo glared, but Cunanan only chuckled. He seemed like a totally different person now, his friendly smile twisted into a malicious grin. He slowly approached trapped Shizuo. Suddenly, there was a knife in his hand and he stabbed it into Shizuo's arm. The ex-bartender screamed. Fuck. It hurt. Why did it hurt so much? He hadn't been in so much pain since his childhood, when he managed to break nearly every bone in his body.

"You fucking bastard, what the hell is wrong with you?! What did you do to me?!" After he heard that, Andrew's smile dissipated. He frowned and slammed his fist into Shizuo's face.

"Shh, don't yell so loud. If you keep it up, someone might find us. And we are far from done." Before Shizuo managed to recover from the unfamiliar painful punch, Cunanan put some old rag into his mouth, silencing him.

"And as to answer your question. What's wrong with me? I'll tell you what's wrong with me! It's this goddamn place. Those people. They are so fucking annoying. But I can't kill any them, no. Cause everyone is already dead. Moreover, all of the wounds regenerate. So even if I cut someone's head off, it will just dissipate in some time and they'll grow a new one. It's so fucking boring, when I first arrived here I thought I'll go nuts! Anyway, for the second question, I didn't do much, really. I just a gave you a shot of some nice, little drug. While normally it would be enough to take down an elephant, it seems that it only managed to weaken you to the state of normal human. But that's exactly what's to be expected from such monster as you, so I'm fine with just that. Oh, yeah, I nearly forgot, there's one more thing. It also stimulates the pain receptors. I hope you don't mind that part, it would've been no fun if you didn't feel a thing." Shizuo gulped. And to think that he actually thought that Cunanan could be trusted. But fuck, that guy was crazy!

"You see, I'm really unlucky. When I was alive I got a taste of the beautiful feeling of actually killing someone. Then I went on a spree, killing more and more people. Damn, life was amazing back then. I felt like I was a god. But then, police found a trail and I realized that even if I didn't receive a death penalty, my life in imprisonment would be dull, without taking people's life, so I killed myself. And what I got? A world where all people are immortal! Cruel, isn't it?" Cunanan removed the knife from his arm, only to stab it again. Repeatedly. Shizuo gnashed his teeth, pain filling him.

"And then there were those worshippers. They kept talking about the 'Master Izaya's grace and the justice he will bring to the evildoers' even when I sliced their throats open. So unnerving! Who's that guy to decide what's good and bad?! Honestly, I could feel my sanity leaving me day by day in that time. But then, when I wandered the streets, slowly losing the will to exist, I heard a rumor. The one who told it to me was some Japanese teenage girl, who killed herself, cause her internet boyfriend turned out to be an asshole. Ah, but that doesn't really matter. The thing is, she told me an interesting story from Tokyo. Apparently, there was a guy there, capable of throwing vending machines and kicking cars like a football. At first, I ignored it as a stupid rumor, but then the theme returned. I asked more and more people from Tokyo and most of them actually confirmed it. I've to admit, I became quite obsessed. I treasured every bit of information I managed to find on you, thinking of all the ways I could cause pain to appear on that pretty face of yours." Madman's eyes glinted as his hands curled around Shizuo's neck. Fortunately, as black dots began to show up before the ex-bartender's eyes, he let go, instead shifting his attention to the buttons of his shirt. He slowly undid them, his eyes full of lust. Shizuo panicked, for sure it wasn't what it seemed to be, right?

"But then it hit me. Seeing how you were, there was no way for you to commit suicide! Damn, I was so ruined by that. Knowing that, you can clearly imagine how excited I was when you told me your name. Right after seeing that winged-bastard get back here, meeting you was for me like a ray of light in a dark, lonely hell. And so, now I'm going to take my sweet time breaking you." Cunanan dragged his nails across the blonde's chest, drawing blood. Suddenly, he came across the scar, the one left by Izaya on their first meeting.

"Now, what's that? Someone's actually managed to mark you, beastie. Damn, you're making me jealous. But don't worry, I have a solution to that! All I have to do is to remove it and then, you'll be all mine." The knife once again dug into Shizuo's flesh. His eyes widened as he heard Andrew hum cheerfully, cutting a massive chunk of skin that contained the scar out. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. God, it hurt so much.

"Woah, seeing all of this blood on you really excites me. Cause honestly, who would have thought that Tokyo's strongest is such a pretty boy? It was such a nice surprise, instead of an ugly, bulky strongman I got a cute blondie." His captor climbed on the bed, straddling him. Disgust and fear filled him, as in this position he was very much able to feel the proof of Cunanan's 'excitement' pressing into him.

'No, no, no, no! I don't want this! Why is it happening to me?! I need to do something! Why can't I do anything?' As the man on top of him bit into his collarbone, hands once again choking him, Shizuo tried to think of a way to get out of this situation. But, there was none. He wasn't able to save himself and no one else would. The only person he knew in this world was Izaya and the flea hated him. If he ever heard about this, Izaya would just probably laugh, enjoying the very thought of the other's suffering.

'Now that I think about it, I actually brought this upon myself. I shouldn't have trusted that guy in the very beginning! Why do I even hope for someone else saving me, when that's all my fault?'

Those and many other thoughts were crossing Shizuo's mind when suddenly the other man let go. Cunanan chuckled darkly as he sat up and started to undo his pants.

"Well, I guess that's enough for the foreplay. Time for the main part!"

*CRASH*

"Well, took me long enough to find you! Honestly, walking away from me wasn't the smartest thing to do, don't you think, Shizu..."

Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass could be heard. Shizuo turned his head, only to see a slender, winged figure standing in front of the broken window, frozen in shock and staring at the scene in front of him, anger filling his scarlet eyes.

"You! Who do you think you're and what the hell are you doing to my Shizu-chan?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I thought that you may like it, so here I bring you Cunanan's story.
> 
> That guy is an American serial killer, born in 1970. He killed himself in 1997, shooting himself into the right temple. Before his death he murdered at least five people. Oh, and he was also gay. Very gay. I stumled upon him as I searched for a character to torture our poor Shizuo and he just seemed a perfect fit. I'll try to make all of the named characters like that, so let's keep don't googling as a rule, ok?
> 
> Throoter, from the first chapter also isn't my creation. That's actually the name of Valkyrie of strength from the mythology. Sorry for the pronounciation though, it was the best one I was able to come across.
> 
> Also, for those who read this far, a little present : In the next chapter there will finally be some nice fluff! I managed it! No more exposition!


	5. Our Saviour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, my lovely subjects! Your overlord Chromo has returned!
> 
> Sorry for the delay, I had some mock exams this week and had to study. As promised, here I bring you the new chapter.
> 
> Enjoy and review!
> 
> Also, I don't own Durarara

*CRASH*

"Well, took me long enough to find you! Honestly, walking away from me wasn't the smartest thing to do, don't you think, Shizu..."

Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass could be heard. Shizuo turned his head, only to see a slender, winged figure standing in front of the broken window, frozen in shock and staring at the scene in front of him, anger filling his scarlet eyes.

"You! Who do you think you're and what the hell are you doing to my Shizu-chan?!"

'Izaya? Why is he here? And why does he seem ... Angry?' Ok, don't misunderstand, Shizuo's hatred towards Izaya laid deep. That bastard tried to ruin his life for years, even going as far as framing him for the crime he didn't commit. If someone were to ask him, who was the person he despised the most, he would be able to produce a fucking novel, only containing descriptions of how he hated the flea. Now however, being about to be raped and probably also cut into pieces by a fucking psychopath sitting on top of him, Izaya's arrival truly seemed like a god's blessing to him. Pun unintended.

Andrew on the other hand, didn't seem to be affected by the self proclaimed deity's arrival at all. Even though he froze for a moment after the window broke, he's still somehow managed to recover in a matter of seconds.

"Oh my, how come the great Master Izaya actually decided to pay me a visit in my little, humble house? My, I'm honored and all, but as you see, we're kinda in the middle of something. Mind taking your leave?"

At the sight of Cunanan still straddling heavily bleeding Shizuo, his erection well visible through the semi - undone pants and hearing him speak so casually with an innocent smile, Izaya's scarlet eyes narrowed. He smiled maliciously and slowly approached the bed, his voice taking a dark, fiendish tone as he spoke.

"Now, now, I'm afraid that that might be a bit hard. For, you see, that blondie is mine. I've even left a mark stating it, in case someone was unaware~. And yet, here you are, playing with my toy and expecting me to ignore that! How unsightly!"

Izaya's arm suddenly launched forward, grabbing Cunanan by the throat and lifting him up. Panicked whimpers escaped Shizuo's captor's mouth, as he choked on air. The flea's smile only widened.

"You must've arrived during my absence. You may not be aware of that, but few thousands years ago I set up a few rules. Mostly the prohibition of harming humans physically and any form of sexual harassment. People tend to break after things like that and I like my humans healthy and aware of their surrounding. They're no fun otherwise."

Smoke started to rise from underneath Izaya's fingers and Cunanan's skin seemed to melt under his touch.

"One might wonder how I managed to get everyone follow those laws. That's quite simple, really. I've just ripped apart the very soul of any person stupid enough to disobey!"

At that, Andrews eyes widened, as a new wave of fear mixed with pain washed over him. However, it was already too late. In a matter of seconds his whole body got surrounded by a vivid black flame, which didn't dissipate even after Izaya let go of him. Soon, after the pained screams finally stopped, there was nothing left of him, except of a pile of ash.

"Really though, that's already the second time I'm rescuing you, in a span of a day, Shizu-chan. First that golden-ass bitch, Þrúðr and now that. What are you, some kind of damsel in distress?"

Izaya completely ignored Shizuo's horrified eyes at him, as he casually sat on the bed. Tendrils of black-red shadow emerged from his arms and began to break the restraints on Shizuo. The gag he removed manually.

"Izaya...I, uh..."

"Shh, not now. Whatever it is that you want to say, it can wait. Cause before that, I really don't like this place. So, how about we just move to mine?"

Before the ex-bartender managed to say anything, though, Izaya cut in, not leaving him a space to disagree. And so, after the blinding light, which Shizuo was somehow already getting accustomed to, faded, they found themselves standing in a luxuriously arranged room. The walls were covered with some kind of black and white ornamental fabric and every furniture seemed to be carefully carved. Light flew from a massive stained glass window, bathing the room in colors.

"Welcome to Buckingham Palace, Shizu-chan! But, before anything can be discussed, we must do something with your condition, protozoan. There is no way, I'm letting you dirty this place with your blood."

Izaya snapped his fingers and Shizuo felt the pain and weakness leaving him. He looked down at himself, only to see his wounds now completely healed. The blood's disappeared as well.

"Oh, it turns out there was some drug in your system. Huh, now that I think about, it was to be expected. Anyway, I removed it. My, am I not getting a bit too generous? Not only rescuing you, but even taking you to the safe place. If this goes on I migh just become a nice person."

Safe

He was safe

Cunanan was dead, Izaya killed him.

As the sudden realization struck him, Shizuo's weakened knees bent under him and he had to sit on the splendid coach to avoid falling on the ground. He put his head between his hands and finally broke down.

When Izaya heard the quiet sobs escaping the sitting form, he became mortified.

***

Was... Was Shizu-chan crying?

Completely against mortal's expectations, Izaya wasn't actually all knowing. Although his perception was much greater than that of normal people, he wasn't able to read minds and neither did he know of things he wasn't able to witness.

So, seeing Shizuo, the man he spent the last seven years running away from, in a state like that still managed to shock him. Sure, somewhere deep inside he was aware that the ex-bartender was actually a human, capable of normal emotions, but seeing it for himself was still unexpected.

The god clenched his fists. Anger rashed in his veins. No one, except from him of course, was allowed to hurt Shizu-chan.

Weird as it may sound, Izaya never actually hated Shizuo. Sure, the blonde was sometimes annoying, especially when he somehow managed to destroy info broker's plans, but fuck, he gave his humans free will for a reason. It was for him to able to observe them, each and every one of their aspects, to savour their feelings and reactions.

He watched over them.

He loved them.

All of them.

They were his very own creation. And so, if one of them broke others, he removed them. After all, the only thing greater than his love for humans was his love for humanity.

But in Shizu-chan's case, it was different. When Izaya first met the faux blond, he was only starting to remember who he really is. And during the whole process, while he slowly reclaimed his memory and true identity, Shizuo was there.

And he posed a problem.

Because he was the only one who harbored any strong emotions towards Izaya. Sure, there were many people who didn't like Izaya. There were even some, Shinra namely, who liked him.

But all of them, they stayed deattached. While he was a part of there lives, he didn't have that much of emotional impact on them. And that was correct. That was how humans were supposed to feel about him

But somehow, Shizu-chan was different. He hated Izaya from the very beginning, detested his very being. He made killing the info broker his life goal. And that was wrong. No human should have that strong feeling of anything, be it love or hatred, doesn't matter, towards their god.

And so, Shizuo was an abnormality.

A monster.

The only one that Izaya wasn't exactly sure how he should feel about. The only one he wasn't able to understand.

"I couldn't do anything, you know? It was simply terrifying. And it hurt so fucking much. Sure, I'm aware that being how I am, I probably deserve everything that that guy was doing, but still, I couldn't stop hoping that he would stop. So fucking selfish of me."

The whisper was so quiet, that if not for the overhelming silence in Nihil and his sharpened senses, Izaya wouldn't have heard it. And, before he even started to think about what to do, he found himself crouching in front of the blond, arms wrapping around the other male, hand stroking his hair soothingly.

"Izaya? What're you..."

"For once, Shizu-chan, please shut up. You do not deserve to be tortured and raped. No one does. So stop saying nonsense, acting like a depressed teenage girl doesn't suit you."

And surprisingly, Shizuo did just that. Slowly, Izaya felt him relaxing into raven's embrace.

"I know we do not exactly have the best relationship and all, but how about you stay with me for the time being, Shizu-chan? After all, seeing how after you left me, you managed to geet yourself kidnapped in a matter of hours, I'm not sure if it is a good idea for you to go now."

Honestly, Izaya didn't know what get into him to offer that. Shizu-chan hated him, why the hell would he want to stay with him?

" Thank you, Izaya."

And yet, as if to crush all of Izaya exceptations, what he received in response was, instead of an angry growl, a small gratefull smile, which now decorated the ex-bartender's face.

Because if there was anything Shizuo was good at, it was being unpredictable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished! Damn, I had some serious problems writing this chapter. There is finally some fluffy moment in this story and I even managed to put some Izaya' POV, so I hope you're happy. Anyway, I hope you liked it. If you find any mistakes, or simply want to talk to the great me, please review


	6. Genesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, I'm acually alive! So...
> 
> Look, I'm sorry for the 'slight' delay in updating. I don't really have a good excuse, maybe apart from the end term exams. But don't worry, I've got an idea. You'll just pretend that none of that happened and I'll give you some bonus chapters? And an oneshot? Pretty please?
> 
> Anyway, have fun reading this chapter, it's pretty long even though I know it's not a good form of apology.

When Izaya's arms wrapped around him, Shizuo immiedately tensed up. The feeling of being trapped like this reminded him of Cunanan. He was just about to freak out and try running away, when he felt the other's fingers stroking his head.

"Izaya? What're you..."

"For once, Shizu-chan, please shut up. You do not deserve to be tortured and raped. No one does. So stop saying nonsense, acting like a depressed teenage girl doesn't suit you."

Woah, that was some scenario that even once hasn't crossed his mind. Here he was, having an emotional breakdown, after nearly getting raped, being comforted by the guy who saved him, who, of all people, was actually Izaya. Shizuo was nearly sure that if someone had told him about that three days prior, he would be too stupiefied to even punch that person.

However now, as it actually became reality, the ex-bartender found Izaya's words strangely soothing. Because even if the flea was evil, even while taking into consideration everything he's done to Shizuo, he has still saved him. And that's enaugh to, even if temporary, allow himself to feel safe around the raven. Or at least that's what Shizuo wanted to believe, as he finally relaxed into the other's embrace.

"I know we do not exactly have the best relationship and all, but how about you stay with me for the time being, Shizu-chan? After all, seeing how after you left me, you managed to get yourself kidnapped in a matter of hours, I'm not sure if it is a good idea for you to go now."

Izaya's sudden offer caught him off guard. At first, he couldn't help but recall, how similar it sounded to Andrew's one, a day before. But, Izaya wasn't Cunanan. Sure, he wasn't a good guy either, but, Shizuo firmly believed, he wouldn't fall that low. Also, although Shizuo refused to admit it even to himself, he was scared. Even though that bastard hasn't actually done that much to him, the feeling of being stripped of control of his own body still left a deep scar on his mind.

Plus, taking the recent events into account, maybe it was possible that the raven wasn't really that bad.

" Thank you, Izaya."

Because his decision sure as hell didn't have anything to do with that warm feeling that spread through his chest when Izaya held him in his arms. Not at all.

***

Maybe Izaya wasn't really that bad? Yeah, like fuck.

Shizuo had been living with the flea for a week now and it was hell.

Sure, the place itself was gorgeus. Luxury practically leaked from every surface and the ex-bartender could swear that he's never seen that much gold in his whole life that he had during these few days.

No, the problem was Izaya himself. He was annoying. Sure, that wasn't anything new, but now that Shizuo had to spend more time with him, it got worse.

***

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 

2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.  
4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.  
5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

***

"Izaya, could you please shut the fuck up, it's well past three in the morning!" Few hours have passed since Shizuo moved into Buckingham Palace and he was tired. However, as soon as he admitted it and moved into his new room, Izaya decided it's a great time to play on organ. Yes, just like the fucking Dracula.

"Nah, I don't really think so, Shizu-chan! I would rather say that it's somewhen around seven. And so, high time to get up, don't you think?"

If not for the fact that it was pointless, Shizuo would've punched the wall in that very moment.

"How the fuck is it seven? Look outside, you self-proclaimed deity! It's dark!"

Though as soon as Shizuo looked through the window to confirm his words, Shizuo found himself dumbstruck. Because it wasn't dark outside, no. Instead, what met his gaze was a beautiful, sunny day, which seemed to mock him with its very existance.

"And how did you do that?!"

"Nothing special. I simply accelerated the time in Nihil, to match that on Earth in a few hours. It will stop moving on now and after Earth will also reach this point everything will get back to normal~"

"So rise and shine, Shizu-chan!"

***

6 And God said, "Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water."  
7 So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so.  
8 God called the vault "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

***

"Izaya, you've been staying in that bathroom for three hours now! What the fuck even takes you so long?!"

"Well sorry to say that, Shizu-chan, but some of us actually need their beauty time. Anyway, it's not like there is no other bathroom here. Go, find yourself your own!"

Okay, so it wasn't like Shizuo actually hadn't tried to find another bathroom. The problem was, the place was huge! He's wondered for fifteen minutes, before actually giving up, afraid that he would get lost.

"What are you even talking about, flea? Beauty time?! What shitty kind of god needs beauty time? You are not some hormonal teenage girl."

Luckily, instead of a snarky response, what the blonde got was Izaya emerging from behind the bathroom door, dressed only in a towel and drying his hair with another one.

As he unconsciously watched a drop of water dribbling down the raven's well toned chest, Shizuo felt blood rushing to his cheeks. He quickly stormed by the opened door, slamming them behind him. However, before he got a chance to analyze what happened, his embarassment was replaced with anger.

"Izaya, you little shit, why the hell there is no more warm water?!"

***

9 And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so.  
10 God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good.  
11 Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so.  
12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

***

"Izaya, care to explain why the hell, there is water everywhere?!"

"Well, Shizu-chan, yesterday you seemed so angry that there was no water left, so I decided that, being a nice and empathic person I am, I will help you with that! Enjoy your bath!"

As he heard a response coimng from outside his room, Shizuo felt the urge to suffocate someone.

A bath. A fucking bath. Well, that certainly wasn't the word that crossed his mind as he watched small waves smashing on his bed. Uncertain of what to do he finally slipped into the water and swam to the living room.

"Oh, I see someone finally got out of the bed. Do you want some breakfast?"

As if filling the whole Buckingham Palace with water wasn't weird enaugh, when Shizuo saw Izaya in another room, he was sunbathing under a small lamp , absurdly intensive and, Shizuo was nearly sure, not connected to any energy source, laying on the table and eating pancakes. Oh yes, he was also half naked. Cause that wasn't weird at all.

"Why so quiet, Shizu-chan? Admiring the view?"

Shizuo sure as hell didn't blush, because Izaya's words totally didn't summarize what he was just doing. Definitely no.

***

14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years,  
15 and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so.  
16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.  
17 God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth,  
18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good.  
19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

***

"Izaya, what's with this noise outside?"

Shizuo finally asked, after the voices coming from the street once again woke him from his nap. Yes, for once, what irritiated him wasn't the flea. Or, at least so he assumed.

"Hm, let me check the date. Hm... Yeah, so today should be the Day of Sun. Not exactly my favourite, but still a holiday. People like it, so I guess I don't oppose. Though you should see the celebrations in Valhalla. It's their equivallent of Christmas. Pretty funny, but it's actually on this day that those golden bitches managed to trick me into inprisonment."

That left Shizuo wondering. He actually never expected life in Nihil to actually not be a complete mess. And yet, it seemed that he once again underestimated Izaya.

"How do you even celebrate holidays here? I mean, this place doesn't exactly allow any grand celebrations."

"One would think so, but there's nothing impossible when I'm involved! For today, I placed some nice decorations around the city, which will disappear after the sunset. Oh, there will also be fireworks. Hm, now that I think about it, that's not a bad idea! Let's celebrate, Shizu-chan!"

And of course he had to fucking teleport them. Cause there's nothing nicer in the morning than sudden displacement.

Plus, as if just to make the matters even worse, they were once again standing in a high place. Just great. The only good thing was, this time, instead of an easily- jumpable-from bridge, they were in some kind of a cart, which slowly moved on a giant devil's eye.

"Welcome on London Eye! That's my absolutely favourite place in the city. Hope you enjoy the view."

Okay, so that afternoon was actually nice. They sat in the cart, watched the city and talked a lot. Izaya of course was teasing him, but it didn't have the sting this time, rather it seemed nearly friendly and Shizuo actually found himself enjoying the conversation. At some point the ex-informant snapped his fingers and summoned them a lunch out of thin air.

It was already dark, fireworks painting the sky in colors, when Izaya suddenly asked.

"Hey, Shizu-chan, is this the first time you're on a date with someone?"

"Wha- What do you mean by that, flea? We're not on a date!"

"I'll take that as yes. So I suppose that's a first too."

Before stuttering and blushing Shizuo got a chance to comprehend the sense hidden behind those words, Izaya leaned closer to him and he felt something soft brushing against his lips.

Blinding light once again filled blonde's vision and as soon as it dissipated, the whole Buckingham Palace was filled with a loud and maybe just a bit flustered scream.

"Izaaayaaa!"

***

20 And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky."  
21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.  
22 God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth."  
23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day

***

"Izaya, we need to talk."

Hearing Shizuo's unfamiliary serious voice, Izaya abruptly turned around on the spinning chair he's been occupating for more than an hour now and grinned with a faux sweetness.

"And what could be on your mind, Shizu-chan?"

"Oh, you know perfectly well, flea. What the hell was that thing yesterday?!"

"Don't know what you're talking about, Shizu-chan~ "

Shizuo growled and approached Izaya. However, before he got a chance to do anything, the bastard just disappeared.

The blonde spent the next few hours seeing red, the fact of not being able to wreak havoc to dissipate his anger only making everything worse.

When Izaya finally returned, Shizuo had to try his hardest not to try to kill him in that very moment.

"Why hello there, Shizu-chan! I'm back! Now, don't be so angry, I've got ootoro. Nobody can be angry seeing fatty tuna. Now, catch!"

And after that the goddamn flea just disappeared again.

***

26 Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created mankind in his own image,in the image of God he created them;male and female he created them.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

***

Izaya didn't appear again until the late evening. When he did he looked drained and for once wasn't cheerful. Completely against himself and everything that he planned to yell at the parasite, Shizuo found himself asking.

"Hey, flea, are you alright? You look like shit."

"Always so chivalrous, ne, Shizu-chan? Twenty hours! Twenty fucking hours of listening to people rumbling about their problems. Sure, I love humans, but it's too much even for me. Ah, I swear, if I wasn't immortal those guys would've killed me. No need to worry though, that's just what I got after not hosting audiences for a few hundred years. It will be better next week. Or at least I hope so."

"Hosting audiences? For real? There is no way that there are some people who would actually line up just to talk with you."

"Oh you would be surprised. Anyway, I know that you wanted to talk and stuff, but please, can that wait? Right now I could kill for a warm, relaxing bath. I swear we'll make it up for you tomorrow. Okay?"

Woah, now that was weird. Izaya too tired to tease him or beat around the bush. Not exactly sure what he should do in that situation, Shizuo simply nodded and moved back to allow the raven to get to the bathroom.

Few minutes after midnight Izaya emerged from the bathroom. He smirked at Shizuo as he approached him and wrapped his arms around his neck. The blonde shuddered when the god bit his ear before whispering.

"Ne, Shizu-chan, would you like to get back on Earth?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speaking about those oneshots I mentioned in the top notes, I'll write two. This chapter will be on AO3 and Fanfictionnet. The first prompts given in comments/reviews on both of those sites will be realized as oneshots. So please leave some reviews?


	7. Reminiscence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, my beloved subje... *cough* readers. I'm back! And here I bring you another chapter. And let the great god of gay porn bless all of us!
> 
> Oh, also I don't own Durarara.

Proverbs 10:7

The memory of the righteous is blessed, But the name of the wicked will rot.

***

"Ne, Shizu-chan, would you like to get back on Earth?"

It took Shizuo a few moments to actually process what Izaya just said, but when he did, he quickly stepped back, eyeing the smirking parasite cautiously.

"Flea, you aren't kidding, right? This is not some stupid joke you've prepared, only to make fun of me?"

The raven made a look of hurt innocence, covering his heart with both hands, before speaking.

"Me? Joking about important stuff like that? But it would be so cruel, Shizu-chan! How can you accuse lil' old me of stuff like that?"

Shizuo sighed. Normally, at this point he would already be throwing heavy objects at Izaya, but after having to deal with him for a week now, he was slowly getting used to his bullshit. Plus, once again throwing anything was a bit of on the harder side.

"Yes Izaya, you. I would love to see my family and friends again, but I know you a bit too long to believe in anything that comes from your mouth, just like that."

"Tsk, you're no fun Shizu-chan. Anyway, I was serious. C'mon, I've never said it's impossible~"

Winged bastard snapped his fingers, once again teleporting them.

***

"Really, you should feel honored, Shizu-chan. You're the first mortal ever allowed anywhere near Bifrost! Oh, the things I do for you, my little beastie."

They were standing on a round platform, which floated in an empty space. In the middle of it was a pond, full of boiling, black liquid which reflected the stars on its surface. When the flea approached it, however, it immediately calmed down, as if it was welcoming its long-gone master.

"What... Exactly is this, flea?"

"Silly protozoan, I've already told you! That's Bifrost, the Bridge of Light. Only using it it's possible to move between worlds. Or, you could just be me and teleport, I guess, but that doesn't seem to work for others."

"So... How does that thing even work? I walk into it and it just resurrects me? Doesn't seem very likely."

Izaya looked at him as if he was the dumbest person in the world.

"That's a bridge Shizu-chan. A bridge! Are you sure you are aware how bridges work? Of course it can't bring a person back to life. It's only for transport measures. Anyway, let's go, I'm sure you can't wait to see everyone again~"

Rage started to build in the ex-bartender when he listened to Izaya's lectures. Unfortunately, before he got a chance to answer him, the flea had already dived cheerfully into a pond, splashing black liquid everywhere. Shizuo didn't have any other option but to follow, still unsure if it is a great idea when he walked into the abyssal waters.

Shizuo gasped, only to fall into a feat of coughing, spitting water from his lungs. He was sitting on the grass, after emerging from a nearby lake.

"Hahaha, Shizu-chan, you look like a drowned dog! My, that's just hilarious. Such a pity that I don't have a camera. Oh, wait!"

The ex-bartender shot the deity a deathly glare, which only resulted in the latter's amused chuckle, as he materialized himself a cellphone out of thin air.

"Don't you fucking dare, flea. Anyway, where exactly are we?"

"Tsk, no fun as always. We are back in Ikebukuro of course! West Gate Park to be precise. Now, before we go, there is this little thing you need to be aware of..."

Before he got to finish, Izaya was interrupted by a group of teenagers who happily waltzed onto the shore. Shizuo tensed immediately, well aware how his very presence causes fear in others. On contrary to his expectations though, the group completely ignored them, cheerfully undressing and jumping into the water. The ex-bartender frowned.

"The fuck, flea? Care to explain?"

"Well, I would've if something hasn't interrupted me~. As I said before, Bifrost only works as a road. Other than that, you're still in the same state as in Nihil. In other words: dead. While you can see and hear everyone, no one is able to acknowledge your existence. They'll even walk through you."

So he was a ghost, huh? Well, it was even better this way, he supposed. He'll be able to see everyone, without causing them any trouble.

"And what about you? How come they can't see you?"

"Oh, c'mon Shizu-chan, I'm a god! I normally exist like that, that is if I don't take a material form. Don't you think that it would suck if every time I wanted to walk between humans, or just take Russian Sushi, like a few days ago, I had to explain why do I have wings on my back and how the fuck did I just get into a closed room, without opening the door?"

Huh, so even after he returned on Earth, there was still no chance of throwing anything at the flea. Shame. At least now he knew where that ootoro came from.

***

They had been walking around for more than half an hour, or at least he had been, winged parasite flying merrily few feet above the ground, when Shizuo realized they had walked into the cementary. He furrowed his brows and looked at Izaya questonningly. The god only hummed, leading him towards a particular pair of new-looking gravestones.

"It was Shinra's idea, you know. To burry us next to each other. Something along the lines of 'Hey, seeing how much they couldn't get along in life, how about we at least make them stay together in death?'. Pretty funny, ne?"

The sight left Shizuo entranced. Sure as hell, in front of him, covered in flowers and lamps stood his very own grave. While it felt weird, reading his name on the gravestone, it wasn't it that left such a deep impression on him.

Instead, what shocked him so deeply, was the second grave.

Izaya's grave.

Empty, lonely grave.

There was literally nothing on the flea's grave. It couldn't have been more than a week since the funeral, yet even the smallest flower didn't decorate the marble surface. God's gaze soon followed his.

"Oh, that. Looks pitiful, doesn't it? But don't worry, someone came to the funeral. Well, kind of. It was joined, so everyone was there rather for you than for me, but it still counts. And hey, it's not like anyone had a reason to grief over me."

Izaya grinned and Shizuo suddenly found himself pitying him. Even he, the monster of Ikebukuro, had someone crying after him. But for the flea there was no one. Not even his family liked him enough to mourn after him.

But that wasn't the worst. No, the thing was, Izaya didn't actually view this as a bad thing. He seemed completely unmoved by the fact that no one cared about him. Not even Shinra. Not even his sisters.

"Let's just go, flea. This place is depressing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done! I know it's a bit short, but worry not, another one will sooon follow. I originally planned to make this one longer, but decided to split it into two. I will post the second one probably even before christmas, so see you then~


	8. Lamentations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a bird? Is that a plane? No, it's actually me making an early chapter on time! Got it done, I feel it's awesome, so I'm gonna post it before I change my opinion. Yay!
> 
> Oh, I also don't own anything

"What's wrong my beloved? You're shuddering."

Celty sighed, or at least made a sigh-like motion, when she heard Shinra speaking. After months of trying, today he finally succeeded in talking her into going on a date with him. What did the trick was the excuse of spending some nice time together after that one hell of the week they had, arranging the funeral and reporting to the police about 'how exactly two monsters of Ikebukuro died together'.

[It's... nothing. I thought I felt some sort of ominous presence, some vile thing, which seemed familiar, but I couldn't exactly put a finger on it. Now it disappeared, though.]

After reading that Shinra frowned, only to tighten his arms around her. His fingers curled reassuringly on her back.

"Don't worry, my dear. I'm sure that you're just tired. After all it's not every month that two of your friends succeed in murdering each other. Okay, one friend and Izaya. But still. Especially considering you and Shizuo were pretty close. Though I must admit, I didn't see it coming this way. I always thought it would be Izaya, who would initiate their final fight, not the other way around."

[Yeah, me too, to be honest. Never expected Shizuo to end things like that. Izaya must've been pretty unlucky, huh?]

"Oh, but you must admit it, he brought it upon himself. Leave it up to him to take one of the best persons in this fucked up city and push him to the point of snapping and killing people. Really, only a guy such as Izaya would be capable of that."

"See Shizu-chan, told you. Not even my so called 'best friend' mourns over my death. Not that it really surprises me. I suspected this turn of events somewhere from the moment he abandoned me after I got stabbed and hospitalized."

Totally ignored by the bickering couple the god and the ex-bartender's ghost chatted, walking around.

"And when exactly did that happen? Anyway, deal with it. That's what you get for being an asshole your whole life."

"For real Shizu-chan?! You didn't even take note of that? What am I for even my worst enemy not to notice my nearly fatal injury?"

"Well, that question is for once easy. You're a flea."

***

Izaya pouted, a small smile tagging on the side of his lips.

"You recently seem much livelier, Kida. Has something happened between you and Saki?"

Three students from Raira strolled cheerfully through the streets, enjoying the early afternoon sun.

"Nah, nothing like that. I'm just still overjoyed about that bastard's death! Now, without him being around, the only thing I need to worry about is how many erotic girls I can fit into my daily life without losing my brand quality."

"Ki- Kida! You really shouldn't say stuff like that! No matter how you felt towards him, Orihara-san is still dead . You should give him at least that much respect. Right, Anri?"

All flustered, the blue-eyed teenager turned to his calm friend looking for support. Unfortunately for him though, she shook her head in response, before ruining any hope for convincing his yellow-bleached friend.

"Actually, I agree with Masaomi. The city is now much more peaceful, compared to when that man was still alive. The only drawback of his death is that he took Heiwajima-san with him. That one was really a good man and he did all of us a great favor."

"Yup, you're totally right there, my sexy goddess. Shizuo really did a great thing. Maybe we should visit his grave, huh? You know, leave a flower as a 'thank you'?"

Seeing Anri nodding thoughtfully at that, Mikado could only sigh in defeat. They soon turned to another topic, not aknowledging two supernatural beings' existence just like the pair before.

"Do I even want to know how you managed to get high schoolers to despise you?"

"Nope, you definitely don't, Shizu-chan! But, just for you to know, I didn't do anything that bad this time. I haven't gotten any of them fired from their job and neither have I destroyed any precious brother-given uniform of any of them!"

"Watch it, flea."

Unmoved by the blonde's growl Izaya chuckled, malicious grin once again plastered all over his face.

"Or you will do what, Shizu-chan? Look at me with great hostility? Call me names and make me cry? C'mon, if you want to threaten me, you have to have a way to somehow back those threats."

Shizuo, unable to find a good response to that, turned away, hoping that Izaya won't see that little tint of red that stained his cheeks as he mentally scolded himself for even noticing how handsome the flea looked with that smirk.

***

"Is everything alright, Tom-senpai? You've been distracted the whole day. Are you feeling ill?"

The man with dreadlocks turned around hearing blonde woman's sudden question. Yeah, now that he thought about it, she was right, he really got carried away with his thoughts.

"I'm okay Vorona, sorry. I just... I still can't believe that Shizuo's gone, just like that. You know, I always viewed him as a kind of invincible."

He rubbed his suddenly red eyes with embarrassment, smiling sadly to his coworker.

"Affirmative. I too never expected anyone else to succeed in eliminating Shizuo-senpai."

Both her boss and the ghost of the ex-bartender leaning on a nearby streetlamp blinked, confused, after hearing the 'anyone else' part in this sentence. Only the winged raven, standing next to the latter, chuckled, clearly amused.

"Oh, the things I could tell you about that Russian friend of yours. I have more things on her than on most of the Yakuza in this city."

"Now that's just bullshit, flea. How much bad could have a nice girl like her done?"

"Oh, you would be surprised, Shizu-chan. Anyway, don't you feel nice? Everyone seems to be missing you. Even those high schoolers from before want to thank you for killing me~"

"Tsk, stop bad-mouthing my friends, Izaya. And you still haven't told me what exactly you did to those kids."

"Look Shizu-chan! Isn't that a vending machine? I'm sure all of them missed you. Go, give her a hug!"

"Flea!"

***

"Yumacchi, that's so tragic! How could Shizu-Shizu do that to me? Ruined my OTP, just like that! If only he managed to understand his feelings earlier... And poor Iza-Iza, his tragic love unrequited to the bitter end!"

Narrow-eyed otaku patted his friend's back, trying to console her. Unbeknown to them, her words caused a certain blonde spirit to freeze in shock. He was left standing next to them, his mouth repeatedly opening and closing, failing to form any words.

"I know Erika, I know. But look for silver lining! At least in death they are forever together. Plus, now that I think about it, Dotachin and Chikage seem to be getting closer recently..."

"What's with that face, Shizu-chan? You look like you've never heard fujoshi's rumbling before. Wait, you really haven't?"

That finally caused Shizuo to snap out of his shock. He looked at Izaya, horrified.

"No, I haven't! And what the fuck is that?! What's wrong with her?!"

"Well, she is obviously devastated. After all her favorite ship just sunk. I know that she's been keeping her fingers crossed for us for years now."

"That's not what I meant and you know it perfectly well. Why is she talking about us... about us being together?"

"That's pretty normal for yaoi fans. Plus c'mon, it's not like she is the only person who thought that we would look nice together. Even my sisters used to yell at me to finally get together with you so they can meet Kasuka."

"Are you trying to tell me that for all these years some of our friends viewed us as a potential pair? I simply can't believe it..."

Suddenly both the supernatural and otaku pairs' dialogues were interrupted by an unexpected event. The always-calm-and-quiet Kadota abruptly turned around and shouted.

"Could you two shut up?! Please, just this once! Shizuo was our friend, for fuck's sake! How can you two act like that even after his death?!"

That actually caused them to shut up. All four of them. They stopped dead in their tracks, eyeing the rare phenomenon of shouting Kadota. That is, until Izaya's voice broke the silence.

"Woah, who would have thought that all it takes for Dotachin to loose it is both of us dying! If only I knew that would happen I would've done that years ago. Damn, why is there no pop-corn?"

***

"So how did you like that little field trip, Shizu-chan? Refreshing, wasn't it?"

"Oh, shut it, flea. That was just way too fucked up. Especially the last part."

They had already been walking for a while, Izaya chewing on some pop-corn he stole on the way.

"So, where are we going, Shizu-chan? Someone else you want to see?"

"Yeah, Kasuka. He is shooting his newest film nearby. It's already been a week so he should be working again."

Shizuo growled, feeling a corn seed hitting his head, but anger soon dissipated in him, replaced by the excitement of seeing his brother.

*BANG*

Suddenly, the sound of gunshot rang, alarming everyone around.

"Um, Shizu-chan, I'm not exactly well informed in this area, but shouldn't the guns used during shooting be like... fake?"

Leaving deity's question unanswered, Shizuo rushed towards the source of the sound, literally running through the startled crowd.

When he arrived on place, the sight left him breathless.

Pointing towards the young actor with a gun stood a crazed hoodlum, his hands shaking and his pupils wide from adrenalin and probably some sort of drug.

"Don't you fucking dare to move! Any of you! I'll kill him! That guy has monster's blood in his veins! He has to die!"

Everyone, Shizuo included, stood there paralised. They weren't able to do anything. That psycho had Kasuka targeted, gun already loaded and cocked.

"Well, that surely doesn't look good. I don't think any of those guys can do anything."

Shizuo turned on his heels, only to spot Izaya leaning on a nearby wall. Hope suddenly sprung in his heart.

"And you? Izaya, can you do anything?"

The flea, as if just waiting for that question the whole time, grinned and snapped his fingers. Everything around them stopped, people frozen in odd poses. Izaya rose up into the air, only to land before Shizuo, scarlet eyes gazing right into him.

"I'm so glad that you asked, Shizu-chan! You see, it's actually pretty tricky. I try not to interfere with mortals' life directly, at least not using the supernatural powers."

"Stop the bullshit, flea! If nothing happens that guy's gonna kill Kasuka. There must be something you can do!"

Shizuo was on the edge of begging. He didn't know what else could be done. He looked at Izaya pleadingly.

"Alright, alright, you got me with that puppy stare. There is one thing. But you're not gonna like the consequences."

"What is it? The price doesn't matter, I'll pay. Please, whatever it is, just do it."

"Well, that's part of the problem. That's not something I can do all by myself."

Shizuo looked at the god, confused.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You see, Shizu-chan, if we're going to help your little brother, I'll have to resurrect you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's me, Chromo again!
> 
> I know I normally put that part in the beginning notes, but hey, I feel so high on writing this early that it doesn't really matter. Hey, if it goes like that I just might write some more stuff today. Though, if I were you I wouldn't put any hopes into it.
> 
> Merry Christmas


	9. Resurrection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! You didn't think you would see me ever again, did you? And yeah, I know that's the part in which I normally apologize for the delay, but this time, well, it was a little too big. For the last few months I had some major complications and just couldn't bring myself to write.
> 
> Someone died, some people tried to, though none of them succeded. You know how it is, typical school life.
> 
> Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just making up some bullshit to cover up the fact that I was lazy as fuck.
> 
> Who knows?
> 
> Anyway, I'll be trying to write some more in the future and I hope I'll manage to do so. Though I don't promise anything. Have fun~
> 
> Oh yeah, I also don't own anything.

"You see, Shizu-chan, if we're going to help your little brother, I'll have to resurrect you."

This line put Shizuo into a state of bewilderement. He could come back to life?

That sounded nearly to good to be true. But wait, didn't...

"Hey, flea, didn't you say before that you won't into interferre into the real world?"

Izaya smirked at him, his eyes gleaming with malice.

"Well, you aren't exactly correct. I just said that I try not to do it. There's a difference. Anyway, I'm glad you picked up on this. As I already said, in terms of helping your brother I won't do anything more direct than resurrecting you and letting you do the job. However even that comes with a price. You'll...-"

"I already said that much, flea! The price doesn't matter. I'll do anything for Kasuka. Hurry up."

Sighing mellodramatically, Izaya shrugged and complied.

"Alright, alright, but don't tell me that I didn't warn you. Now, prepare yourself, this might hurt a little."

Shizuo didn't get to question, what exactly Izaya meant by that, before the flea lounged himself at him, pressing their lips together. As he gasped, exaspereted and trying to figure what was going on, Izaya breathed into his mouth.

And with that, it turned out that he didn't need to find any answers. Because as soon as Izaya pulled back, his face smirking, it started to hurt like hell.

It felt as if his whole body was being turned inside-out. He tried to scream, however no sound left his mouth. Feeling something akin to flames, rushing through his veins, he dropped to his knees.

{Hot}

He watched, as the flesh on his arms slowly burnt, before turning to ash and flying away with the wind.

So fucking {hot}.

Soon, new muscles started to grow from nothing.

{Hot} enough to burn away all of his senses leaving him with only the burning pain

Bloody red threads overlapped themselves, before finally new skin covered them, making it seem as if nothing happened.

Shizuo tried to move, stand up, do anything, but he found himself unable to. His whole body was frozen, making it impossible to move. He heard footsteps from the side and finally Izaya appeared in front of him.

"See, I told you that it's gonna suck. Anyway, now it's all done. Don't worry, you'll be able to move in a moment. It's just that, that after I brought you back, the time that's stopped for everyone else, stopped for you too. I'll be letting it flow any second now, so before that, let me congratulate you on your revival. And be grateful, you don't have any idea how much I want to fetch markers and draw you some really classy moustache."

***

Hiroshi Zoda really hated job hunting. Without a proper education, it's never been easy for him. Things only got worse after he got himself a criminal record for assault.

Once, there was even a time when, after failing to find anything for more than a week, he snapped. He took out a knife and attempted to stab the person standing closest to him.

And it might've turned into a mass murder, if his randomly chosen victim wasn't a certain blonde-haired bantender.

Since that day, Zoda was traumatized. Whenever he walked on the streets, that is, after he managed to walk again, after an half-a-year-long hospitalization, he jumped at any louder noice. Even after managing to find any work, he wasn't able to last in it for more than two weeks. The fear never left him.

And then, he heard about monster's death.

He should've been glad, grateful. He should finally be able to relax. However, for some reason, he couldn't. The fear was still there, even though he knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

And so, he decided, he would confront with his trauma, by removing everything that the monster left behind. He did a massive research, trying to find any relatives, lovers, maybe even possible children. What he found, much to his surprise, was the fact that Yuuhei Hanejima was the debt collector's brother.

His plan quickly came to realization. After getting a hold of the actor's schedule, he prepared for the attack.

Everything was perfect. He got himself a gun and regularily visited a shooting range, to make sure he won't miss. A day prior to the action, he managed to poison Yuuhei's bodyguards. There was nothing that could possibly go wrong.

Soon, there would be no-one left with monster's blood.

Or so he thought.

Because honestly, how could he had predicted that right before he managed to blow a hole in Hanejima's head, he was hit by a flying vending machine.

Seriously, what the fuck?!

***

Even considering the seriousness of the whole situation and the pain that he just went through, Shizuo couldn't stop himself from grinning at the sight of a flying vending machine, knocking the attacker out.

Damn, how did he miss that!

After checking that the guy won't be able to go anywhere soon, the blonde turned around, to see if Kasuka was alright. He headed towards him.

As Shizuo approached his little brother, he got to see a miracle unfold.

Kasuka's eyes widened and his mouth opened, as he stared at Shizuo with an expression which, on normal person, could be described as a slight surprise. It was honestly shocking. The ex - bartender never before had seen him so expressive.

"...Nii-san? Nii-san, is that really you?"

Well if that wasn't awkward. Shizuo scratched his head, not exactly sure how this conversation should look.

"Yeah, that's me. I'm sorry that I disappeared just like that. Anyway, I'm back. Are you guys okay?"

Still exaspereted, Kasuka answered with a nod. He opened his mouth to ask another question and, just when Shizuo was wondering, if the situation can even get more unnatural, Izaya decided that it's high time to march in.

"Shizu-chan! There you are! Have you finally stopped fooling around? You know, we've got some pretty important stuff left to do today."

Shizuo sighed inwardly.

"Excuseme, are you Orihara-san? I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding something, but were you with my brother this whole time?"

If he had worshipped any god, Shizuo would've prayed to it in this very moment, hoping for Izaya to not say anything too terrible. Unfortutely, the only god whose existance he aknowledged was the raven himself. Which meant there was no hope left.

"Oh, but of course! A massive 'yes' as an aswer to both those questions. We spent some really nice time, travelling. I must tell you, London is really beautifull this time of year. The view from London's Eye totally beats that from Sunshine 60. Right, Shizu-chan?"

Nope, no hope at all. Shizuo slowly turned his head towards Kasuka. Even though the younger Heiwajima has already calmed down, Shizuo, with his years of experience, could still see traces of disbelief in his eyes. Disbelief and... anger? Damn, angry Kasuka wasn't something he had experience dealing with.

"So... While everyone thought that the two of you have killed each other, in fact you went on a trip to Europe? Brother, I know that the two of you might want to keep things quiet, but I still think we need to talk. Very seriously."

"Wait, no, Kasuka, that's not how it was! Well, technically, yes, but... Oh, damn, I'm not exactly making sense, right? Uh, Izaya, it's all your fault. Did you really have to say it like that?"

And the goddamn flea chuckled. Of course he did. Cause there's nothing funnier than human suffering.

"As you see, Kasuka-kun, the situation is in fact quite complicated. As you already managed to figure, we want to keep everything low, at least now, so we would be really glad if you could not tell anyone about it. Pretty please?"

Shizuo blinked, unsure how it exactly happened, that Izaya took over his role in the conversation.

"Well, sure, if that's what you both want. I'm fine with the two of you, as long as my brother is happy. But we still need to have a serious talk."

"Sure thing. But I'm afraid that that'll have to wait. You see, we only came back a few hours ago and still have a lot of things to settle. I'll send you a message, so you have my number. Now, we have to get going. Gues we'll see ya around?"

Okay, so this went in a really weird direction, really quickly.

Seeing him simply nod at that, Shizuo couldn't help but wonder what was going on in Kasuka's head. He just like that, accepted this whole situation. Though, the blonde had to admit, it was still pretty disturbing, how he, just like that, assumed that the two of them were together. Could it be that his little brother was one of those people, about whom Izaya talked earlier, who viewed them as a potential pair.

Okay, so maybe pretty was an understatement. This whole thing was very disturbing.

***

"Fuck, that was weird. Anywhay, where are we going? What's that 'important stuff' you've been talking 'bout?"

"Oh, that's simple. We're going to my place. Knowing my secretary, she should currently somewhere in the middle of selling my belongings, so we should hurry. After all, you probably don't want to sleep on the floor, in case she manages to get rid of the couch before we get there~"

Please, let it all be a misunderstanding. There's no way the flea meant what he thought he did. Right?

"The fuck are you saying, loose? Why the hell would I want to sleep in the same apartament as you? You're a nightmare to live with."

"Tsk, watch your language. And as for your answer, well, there are two main reasons. First of all, it's not like you have anywhere else to live. Your apartament's already been sold."

Damn, if that wasn't just great. Still, there was no way he was living with Izaya again. If there was no other way, he would just have to beg Tom to let him stay at his place for a bit.

"Though I guess that that's just a minor issue. The main problem lies elsewhere. Remember how I told you there'll be some complications with your ressurection? Well, that's one of those. You were brought back to life with my energy, but it won't last forever. If you want to stay alive you can't leave my side for more than fifty meters. So be a good doggy and come. Or do you just want me to get you a collar with leash? My, how kinky of you, Shizu-chan~"

Fuck.


	10. False prophecies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look what it is! Me! I finished another one. To be honest, this chapter would've been published much earlier, if not for my terrible luck writing it. On my first attempt I suddenly had to take a break and when I returned it turned out someone closed the page and I forgot to save the work. The second time was even worse. In the middle of it, my computer broke. Apart from my progress disappearing again, I was't able to do anything for a few days, while waiting for it to be repaired. I guess that the third time really is the charm.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy the chapter. There's something akin to smut in this one, but... Well I'll stop here to avoid spoilers.
> 
> Oh, I don't own Durarara, by the way.

"Naaamie-chan~ I'm back! Missed me?"

Shizuo flinched at the sound of the suddenly opened door slamming into the wall of Izaya's apartment.

*CRASH*

At the noise of something breaking inside, the flea merrily skipped into his house, leaving Shizuo with no choice, but to follow him.

The place itself was spacious, the living room itself bigger than Shizuo's entire house. Though there were not that many of them left, the furniture were nice too. Futuristic and metallic. Simple.

Or at least so Shizuo remembered from his last visit, because currently everything was covered in foil.

After he followed Izaya into the kitchen, Shizuo was met with a sign of a pretty woman, staring at Izaya with a look of incredibility on her face..

"Wha- What?! Orihara?! You can't be alive, I saw the body! So how? And what the hell's Heiwajima Shizuo doing with you?"

"Oh, Namie-chan, I'm hurt. And here I thought that after all those years you would know me well enough not to believe that I'm dead, just due to some tiny corpse that happens to resemble mine. How unsightly. Oh and as for Shizu-chan, what can I say? This guy literally made me loose ground under my feet~"

Shizuo rolled his eyes. He was finally coming to accept that flea seamed to choose trolling as his way of life. And while he hated being the raven's victim, it turned out that being on the other side of that mechanism was kind of fun.

"Oh, please. You can't seriously expect me to believe that you and Shizuo Heiwajima faked your deaths to go for a honey month trip. Even considering your life-long crush on that man, no one's crazy enough to return those feelings."

"My my, no need for you to worry about my relationships all os sudden. I might assure you that as long as he lives, Shizu-chan will stay by my side~"

Fuck, if that conversation wasn't unsettling.

"Uh, whatever. You literally don't have any idea how happy I saw your corpse. I'm actually kind of curious, how you managed it? Knowing you, I even especially checked the body for any signs of surgery. So, what was it? You owe me at least that much, considering that this whole place still isn't sold or burnt to the ground."

"Oh please, as if I would tell you anything just because the last will you fabricated was questioned by a lawyer. I have no need to take responsibility for your incompetence. Anyway, seeing that my kitchen is still intact, how about you make some dinner?"

"Fuck you, asshole. Don't think of calling me before sending the money for the last few weeks on my account. I'm leaving."

And just like that, leaving Shizuo frozen in place and Izaya giggling, the woman, no, Namie stormed out of the house. The fake blonde turned towards the clearly amused deity with a look of confusion.

"Who the hell was that? And why was she so pissed off seeing you?"

"That was my secretary, Namie. She's just angry that she can't take all of my possessions, now that I turned out to be alive. Poor her. By the way, don't you find it hilarious that you, out of all people, ask me why someone doesn't fancy seeing me?"

The ex-bartender shrugged, unwilling to admit that yes, it was actually pretty funny.

"Anyway, now that the problem of the apartment is solved, I guess you want me to explain the whole resurrection thing, right? But first, how about some coffee?"

* * *

"Okay, then before I get to answering any of your questions, I feel obliged to note that drinking coffee with milk is a sin greater than any other and you humans should be grateful that I never actually set a heavenly tribulation system. Though seeing that excuse of a drink you hold, I start to regret it."

"Can't you just shut up, pest? It's tastier this way. I don't get it how anyone could drink something as bitter."

Hearing the last part of Shizuo's sentence quiet down, before turning into a soft mumble, Izaya grinned. That was just too cute.

"Oh, but if I do shut up, how can I lecture you at the pros and cons of coming back to life? Or is it that you want my mouth doing something else? How naughty, Shizu-chan!"

Really, he needed to thank himself for coming up with the idea of the bloodstream. Blushing Shizuo was a sight that he could never get bored of.

"Alright, anyway, let's get started. Actually the whole situation isn't that complicated. The pros are really simple: you're alive. Nothing else worth of a note here."

Shizu-chan nodded. Really, how nice of him to not question the "nothing worth of a note" part. That left fun more time for later.

"The complicated part kicks in with the cons. Setting the not-so-nice resurrection process aside, there's also the problem of an invisible leash. It goes for fifty meters and once you go out of that range, the energy that keeps you breathing right now will rapidly leave you, annihilating you together with your soul. After that there's no more afterlife for you. You are quite literally bound to me, as it is."

Okay, so that part was actually a complete bullshit. The resurrection was a perfect process, with no shortcomings like that.

Though it hurt like a bitch.

Oh well, you can't have everything.

And yeah, maybe he was lying a little bit, but so what? It wasn't like a god could sin anyway. Plus, it was probably the easiest way to keep Shizu-chan close to him. And that had to be achieved at any cost.

"And how the hell have you came back, flea? I didn't see your flesh burning and growing anew, did I?

"Oh please, Shizu-chan, how many times do I have to remind you: I'm a god! I would only need to do so if I wanted to take human form once again. And I really don't feel like doing so, for the next few thousand years."

He spread his wings, dead set on showing them off as often as possible, now that he could.

Damn, how did he miss them.

* * *

_Izaya's fingers traced the exposed skin of his thighs. Shizuo whimpered, only to be silenced by the other's lips on his own. He felt the raven's hair brushing over his neck. He wanted to touch Izaya too, but was unable to._

_His limbs were bound to the bed's frame, making him defenseless._

_The ex-informant pulled away from the kiss, instead sucking on his nipple, before biting down on it lightly._

_The warmth was shooting straight to his groin. Shizuo blushed, feeling fingers pushing at his lips. He parted them slightly, moistening the digits with his tongue._

_It felt great. Shizuo found himself wishing that it'd last forever._

_But of course it didn't._

_The traces left behind by the other hand, which was currently mapping the skin on his stomach, heated up._

_It hurt._

_He looked down and saw smoke coming from his skin. Izaya lifted his head, smirking at him, his eyes glowing with a hellish red color._

_"You didn't seriously think that I would sleep with you, did you? As if, monster."_

_The fingers in his mouth dissipated, turning into a thick, acidic smoke, that started to fill his throat._

_He felt himself suffocating. The heat was getting unbearable and he could smell his own skin burning._

_Izaya cackled, revealing sharp, pointy teeth, before once again biting into his chest. This time, he wasn't delicate at all, ripping out a massive chunk of his meet._

_*Gulp*_

_The raven swallowed, before licking the hot blood dripping from his mouth._

_"Dream on, if you think that I would ever have feelings for a beast such as you. Even as it is now, you're getting more of my attention than you deserve."_

* * *

Shizuo woke up with a startled gasp. He sat up in tangled sheets, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead. Nightmares sure as hell were a bitch.

And while Cunanan and anything similar to what he did were from some time a constant part of his dreams, the first part was new. And really disturbing.

He washed his face in the bathroom, before trying to get back to sleep. He failed miserably.

After they talked in the afternoon, Izaya declared that he needed to settle a few matters regarding his old job and buried himself with work.

Shizuo watched some TV and updated himself on what happened during their absence. Not much of a surprise, the main topic in regards to Ikebukuro was his and Izaya's death. Other than that, there were mostly gang activities which rapidly rose after the underworld's overseer went missing.

He went to sleep early, tired after the whole day. And that's were problems arose.

"Having problems with sleep, Shizu-chan? Well, I guess that's understandable, you did have it pretty rough recently. "

As the raven waltzed into the guest bedroom, Shizuo flinched with discomfort. After that dream, Izaya was probably the last person he wanted to see. Guess he just had to pray that the ex-informant would let it go.

"I'm just having some nightmares, nothing special. So now, after you checked up, could you please leave?"

"Worry not, my dear princess, for I will save you from those nighthags. Move over!"

*THUMP*

...

And of course his prayers were left unanswered. Instead, the damn god jumped into his bed, wrapping his arms around him.

"What the fuck are you doing, flea?! Get out of my bed!"

"No can do, Shizu-chan. What will happen to my reputation as prince charming if I let such a fair blonde maiden go? So stop worrying and allow your nightmares to be chased away by my strong, manly embrace."

"Are you drugged or something, Izaya? Apart from anything else, I'm higher than you. Drop that bullshit."

"Shhh, be quiet, Shizu-chan. Go to sleep."

Sighing, Shizuo came to a conclusion that the raven won't leave him. Unable to find any other solution, he adjusted himself in the other's embrace, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep.

After that, he fell asleep quickly enough to not even have time to ponder about how safe and well he felt.

The only thing he did notice was a difference between the heat from the nightmare and that warm feeling that spread through his chest as he listened to Izaya's soft breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was it, guys? I personally quite like this chapter, as this is the first proper one since I brought our poor Shizu-chan back to life. Anyway, please leave me some comments. They're what keeps me kicking.
> 
> Oh, also special thanks to Edainwen. That sweetheart's comments really made my day. Love you, girl!


	11. Proverbs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who would've guessed, I'm actually alive! Sup! Sooo, I came back and there's even some hope that I will be writing something more in upcoming days. Once again, big, juicy thanks for Edainwen, who's always giving me feedback and motivation to write. I hope you enjoy the chapter

"... 's not like you care about it that much anyway. Though I suppose I owe you that much, for that stabbing in high school."

Shizuo woke up to the sound of Izaya taking over the phone in another room. He yawned, stretching in the soft cotton sheets. After he finally managed to fall asleep, he didn't have any more dreams, but still was well rested in the morning.

At least most of him was rested. 

After the incident with Cunanan, Shizuo's libido practically died, but, if his weird dream from earlier was anything to go by, just like him it was coming back to life. The ex-bartender glared at his crotch, before slipping out of bed and going to the bathroom.

***

Urban legends. Those tales are the very essence of the human society. Publicly known and never confirmed, those stories make our lives interesting. And currently, Shizuo was confronted with one of them. One he used to view as an obvious fact, rather than a legend.

It went somewhere along the lines of 'there are other possibilities of getting rid of a morning wood rather than jerking off thinking about a same-sex-worst-enemy-turned-god, while staying in said person's home, with them being a few rooms away'.

Yeah, turned out it was bullshit.

At first he tried a simple cold shower, not exactly comfortable with masturbating in Izaya's bathroom.

After ten minutes passing, he started to shiver and, seeing how nothing seemed to vawer about his lower parts' determination, he decided it wasn't working.

Hesitantly, Shizuo leaned his back against the cold tiles and took his length into his hand, trying to quickly find release.

And that was when the worst part started.  

At first, he simply thought about women.

Well, it was probably more effective in dismissing his erection than the cold water from earlier. Not effective enough though.

And so, slightly stepping out of his comfort zone, he switched to males. Yeah, only sligthly. Although he only had any intercourse with women, Shizuo never paid much attention to his orientation. He just never met a guy who would be that much attractive to him. 

Which brought him to the next problem. He didn't exactly have an idea about who he should fantasize, seeing how the females weren't working. 

And then his train of thoughts came upon Izaya. Well, although he never viewed the flea in any kind of way other than 'oh, that's the piece of shit whose bones I want to use as a cobble stone, just to step on it every moment necessary', after the previous few days he came to realize that the bastard was actually pretty attractive.

Okay, REALLY attractive.

Soon, before he realized, Shizuo found himself stroking himself, eyes closed, to the vivid image of raven haired deity before his eyes.  

"Aah..."

He moaned quietly, as the now-warm water washed over him. His free hand started caressing his chest, as he imagined Izaya doing that instead.  He pinched his nipple harshly, the picture of that malicious smirk additionally eating him up, as the image of that bastard teased him.

"Izaya!"

Oh fuck, that one was a bit too loud. He just hoped that...

"Yes, Shizu-chan?"

...And the fucker just teleported in.

They both froze for a moment, Izaya clearly surpised and Shizuo blushing as if there was no tomorrow, hoping to just fucking disappear.

And then, of course, Izaya grinned. In an exact same way he did in Shizuo's fantasy. If it was possible, the blonde's cheeks got even more red. 

"Well, I can't deny that I appreciate that you think so nicely of me, Shizu-chan. Truly, I'm flattered."

"Um, Izaya... I..."

"Nah, don't worry, that's okay. Nothing wrong."

Seeing Izaya being so open minded and, unexpectedly, forgiving, Shizuo felt even more guilty. Damn.

"After all, it's actually kinda my fault. You know, due to the whole resurrection thing."

... wait a moment

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, YOU BASTARD? WHAT DID YOU DO?"

 "Well, you remember how I said there's nothing more to the pros of resurrection, other than baing alive? Yeah? So, I kinda lied. There's also possibility of some other side effects."

Shizuo knew that he should probably be trying to smash the flea's head into the nearest flat surface. Well, it run through his head as a possibility. However the hope that that weird attraction was just a result of the whole resurrection process, plus the fact that he was still butt-naked and half-hard stopped him from doing so.

"And what exactly do you mean by side effects, flea?"

"Glad that you asked. Basically what's going on is that a person's urges get stronger. Especially sexual urges. Especially the recent ones. All kind of lusts and instincts get strenghtended. It's not something that always happened, so I didn't mention it before. "

Huh, that actually explained some stuff. Shizuo was pretty sure that he didn't have those kind of problems before. However one question remained. The flea said that all kind of urges get stronger, but in actuality he was only turned on by Izaya. Other stuff that usually did the trick stopped working.

Luckily, Izaya wasn't done yet.

"Of course, in case of some deeper feelings, like love for example, only the lust towards the beloved person inscreases. All other tend to disappear."

Oh

Goddamn it

Actually, no, nevermind. Just damn it. Let's not get the god (a certain asshole) involved.

...

"Sooo, seeing as your problem still seems to be relevant, want some help on it?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I actually put some real smutt in this story. No more dreams and teasing. More is coming. As always, please comment!


	12. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, it's Chromo!  
> ...  
> I fulfilled my promise. Who would've guessed. Not me for sure. Anyway, I'm gonna leave you now, to enjoy the chapter. Hope you enjoy it and I'll see you in the end notes.

"Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding." Proverbs 10:23

* * *

* * *

 

"Sooo, seeing as your problem still seems to be relevant, want some help on it?"

For one blissful moment, Shizuo didn't know what the flea meant. 

What removed him from that gracefull state of ignorance, or rather kicked him out while laughing evilly, to be correct, was a hand.

Precisely, a certain god's hand which was now wrapped around his length, steadily stroking it. 

He opened his mouth to ~~moan in pleasure and ask Izaya for more~~  yell at the damn bastard to stop whatever shit he was doing and get out, but was interrupted by the other's lips on his own. A tongue slipped into his mouth.  Whatever he was about to say was muffled and Shizuo felt a wave of heat washing over him. 

After what seemed like eternity, but could've just been seconds Shizuo managed to win against the shock and ~~with shaking hands started to unbutton Izaya's shirt, blushing as he noticed the bulge at the front of the other's pant~~ s pushed the winged parasite away trembling with ~~want~~ anger. He was proud of himself for doing that lighter than he wanted to and taking into consideration fact that the god's hand was still on his dick. Fuck, that sentence sounded weird. 

"Izaya you bastard, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

And why did he have a distinct feeling that this wasn't the first time he was asking this exact question? Uh, that guy was going to be the death of him.

"Well, before you were calling my name and I was pretty sure you wanted some help. So, seeing how I am already here and it can't possibly get any more awkward I decided to... hm, what's the correct wording here? Lend you a hand?"

Shizuo decided to just ignore the pun. It was even worse than most of the deity's jokes and that was something.

"And why the hell would you do _that_?! And no, you're wrong. This is getting more awkward with every passing second."

"Oh, okay than, expert-san~ What _should_ I do, then? Any suggestions? Mabye something that, you know, _rolls off the tongue_ better than my idea? C'mon, if it's really good I might actually abide to it." 

Shizuo felt like facepalming. Not because of the terribly low quality those innuendos had. Not even because of how fucked up was this whole situation. No, the most depressing thing was the fact that he was actually turned on by this. Really, what was wrong with him?! He never was into any kind of dirty talk, even the good one and what Izaya was doing was nowhere near decent. Though he supposed the topic itself was indecent enough... 

Stop

It was really a bad sign if he was starting to have trains of thughts like that.

"You really should stop with those. Those aren't even B class jokes at this point"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. Personally I would say that they're all somewhere in the D area."

"..."

And that was the last straw for Shizuo. He crossed the point of no return after which he found himself no longercapable of giving a fuck. He wasn't even able to be embarassed now, because of how horribly stupid Izaya's lines were. Well, horribly stupid and maybe a tiny little bit arousing, no way he was gonna admit that, though.

"So, are we just gonna stand here like that? Cause you know, although standing itself isn't bad, I am able to see three of us doing so and I'm pretty sure that's a bit too many. And I might just know what to do to reduce that number..."

"Yeah, yeah I get it. So just shut up and get on with it."

For once, shutting up was what Izaya did. 

The raven blinked, clearly set off course with the sudden agreement. 

"...Wait, really?"

Huh, that was surprisingly amusing. If that was how the other felt while trolling, than Shizuo finally was getting closer to figuring why Izaya was such an asshole.

"Yup, really. Go on, you feathered bastard. Or are you all bark no bite, giving empty promises."

 "Oh, that's not something you have to worry about, Shizu-chan. I don't have any problems with biting."

Seeing the predatory smirk once again plastered on the raven's face Shizuo was starting to wander if he hadn't just done a really serious mistake. Well, a bit too late too worry about that, he supposed.

* * *

Izaya smirked, dropping to his knees, before taking the blonde's erection into his mouth.

Ah, always leave it to his monster to surprise him. Well, he did plan to eventually initialize a situation like that, but he sure as hell wasn't expecting it so soon.  After all, he was pretty sure that even after his little flirting session in Nihil, the image of him as a potential sexual partner wasn't something easy to instill into Shizuo's brain. Though it seemed that this time his little plan actually worked better than he thought it would.

He hummed, hollowing his cheeks and was rewarded for this effort with a loud, sweet moan which escaped Shizuo's mouth. Oh, it was simply hilarious how different this situation was from their routine which they had shaped over the years. He just couldn't wait to see Shinra's face expression after he learns about the whole 'Sup, I'm a god, plus me and Shizu-chan get along now. Well, a bit more than just get along, actually.' Imagining that expression he felt the urge to lick his lips with satisfaction, but as he wasn't exactly able to do so, instead worked his tongue around the blonde's shaftt. He could see Shizuo's knuckles getting white from how tightly he was squizing his hands.

Somewhere in the middle of that train of thoughts the deity suddenly realized that he forgot about something. He was supposed to tell Shizu-chan about his call earlier, but the whole situation made him focus on some other matters. 

"By the way, just so you know, I called Shinra earlier." 

Shizuo's half-lid eyes suddenly snapped open as he looked at Izaya, confusion evident on his face.

"How aah! are you even able to talk right now? And Shi... Aah! Shinra? Why?"

"I'm simply emiting my voice from a different point than my mouth, an easy trick to pull off. Just like with the burning bush. These are all air vibrations after all. As for Shinra, no big deal. Just told him we're still kicking.  Though I suppose I owe him a better explanation. He and Celty are coming here tomorrow for a talk."

"I suppose that's okay. They're our friends after Aaaah! Fuck, what did you just do?"

Oh, a nicer reaction here than he expected. Worth noting.

"You know, just like with the air, I can cause vibrations in other matters too. For example the walls of my throat."

Shizuo nodded shakily, before leaning his back on the wall and closing his eyes. Izaya could hear how the blonde's breathing shortened.

*RING!*

Whoever that was had a briliant timing to come knocking. 

"Don't you aaah! fucking dare to answer that door. Fuck...!"

*RING! RING!*

Determined to get that done quickly, Izaya once again let vibrations flow through his throat. Shizuo didn't seem like he was going to last too long.

*RING! RING! RING!*

"Orihara-kun, if you won't open the door within 10 seconds I'm gonna barge in! Get here immiedietaly!"

"Sorry Shizu-chan, but you heard him. It seems it's really important."

"Oi, flea don't you dare... Damn!"

Izaya teleported to the hallway. Still, he fealt that, even for his standards, it was a bit of a dick move (note to self: save that pun for later) to leave Shizu-chan high and dry like that. He snapped his fingers, accelerating the reactions in the protozoan's body, driving him to his much desired orgasm. 

Then, taking some pleasure from the loud moan and then a much quiter 'Oh, I can't believe that the bastard could just do that this entire time. He's so fucking dead' , the god opened the door.

"So, what is it my dear Shinra that required my immiedate attention? If you don't have a really good reason, it might not be worth Shizu-chan's anger when he gets here."

Well, looking at the underground doctor's pale face, the problem surely wasn't minor.  And considering it was him, the reason of his worries probably had something to do with...

"Orihara-kun, you must help me! Something's happening to Celty!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was it? Pretty please, tell me in the comments. I hope it didn't suck too much.


	13. Rising fallen angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's me again!  
> I wrote it. And it actually took less then a month this time! This chapter is a bit more plot heavy than the previous few.  
> What can I do, not everything can be an endless stream of horrible innuendos.  
> Anyway, I hope you have fun reading this. As always, please leave a comment!

"God did not have pity on the angels that sinned. He had them tied up and thrown into the dark pits of hell until the time of judgment." 2 Peter 2:4

* * *

 

Orihara-kun, you must help me! Something's happening to Celty!"

* * *

 

Shinra Kishitani was having a terrible day. He had great expectations towards it: he and Celty were going to watch a movie in the afternoon. He specially picked some sci-fi about aliens, so that he could hug her when she inevitibly got scared. However, his plans, while great, turned out to be all for naught.

The first problem was minor, nothing to lose sleep over. Hm, bad wording, actually he lost a lot of sleep due to it. Somewhere around four AM he was woken up by a group of yakuza demanding to be patched up after a fight. Though that was a part of his job, so he wasn't really that angry over it. The only good thing about that incident was the story they told him about how they got injured. Really, it was so hillarious that he had to stop stitching the guy he was currently working on, afraid he would mess something up due to laughter.

It turned out that their offce was attacked by a group of angry, young women.

Angry, young, busty women armed with swords, axes, pikes and all other kinds of medieval armaments. They approached the guards with 'If you wish to live, tell us everything you know about the whereabouts of Orihara Izaya!'.

After one of the surprised gangsters told them that the informant was dead, a particulary pissed off female attacked, appareantly refusing to believe it. She managed to injure a bunch of the guards before her friends finally pulled her back. They apologized for her before disappearing so quickly that the yakuza didn't even have time to answer in any way.

Shinra couldn't help but wonder how Izaya achieved that. Last time he checked even the members of the info broker's fanclub weren't that intense. Though, he supposed, considering Izaya's talent to piss people off it didn't seem impossible for him to anger someone to the point of seeking him after death.

The context of the story changed quite a lot a few hours later, though. After he finally managed to patch all of the gangsters up and was just about to start preparing breakfast for himself, Celty emerged from the bedroom. The underground doctor felt himself quickly approaching paradise when she expressed her worry that he overworked himself and even offered to give him a massage. His moment of happiness was however brutally interrupted by a phone call.

He didn't plan to take it and he wouldn't, if any other number showed up on his cellphone. However a call from a dead person was something a bit difficult to ignore. Especially after Celty noticed it and demanded that he picks it up. She left him in a middle of a massage, saying that she's gonna make him something to eat and left him with the phone.

Fifteen minutes later he couldn't decide whether he was more happy that both of his closest friends were actually still alive, or angry for having his wonderful morning with Celty interrupted. Probably the latter.

After he confirmed that his best friend was fine, Shinra went on to more important stuff, namely checking what his beloved headless fairy was making for him.

"Celty, you wouldn't have guessed who just called! Turns out Orihara-kun somehow managed to survive... What's wrong my beloved?!"

It was at this moment Shinra knew something was seriously fucked up.

When he entered the kitchen Shinra was met with a horrifying sight. Celty's shadows were squirming around her, dispersing and revealing her shivering body beneath them, just to converse again in a few seconds. Mixed with the black substance were some sort of golden threads. He could see bulging veins on her white skin, golden glow strongest around them. Shinra was pretty sure that if she had voice, Celty's screams would be filling the house.

When she saw him walking into the room, Celty started to rapidly gesticulate, appareantly trying to tell him something. She failed misereably, panic leaving her unable to communicate. After she realized that, the black rider swinged her hand, using her unstable shadows to carve barely readable letters onto the wall.

[It was Izaya who called?! Shinra, you have to go get him! I don't know what's happeing.]

"There's no way I'm gonna leave you in this state! And what does Izaya even have to do with this?!"

Shinra's scared voice was high pitched, resembling a screech. He was looking all over the place, trying to find some way to help his beloved.

[I'm not sure either. I think I'm regaining some of my old memories, though only small pieces of them. I only know that Izaya will probably know what to do. You have to get him!]

* * *

 

And that was how Shinra found himself knocking on the info broker's door.*

After he was finally let in, the underground doctor started explaining the situation to Izaya, not bothering to listen to whatever the other was saying.

"...And although I don't know why my dear Celty thought that you can know anything about this, I decided to trust her on that. So please Orihara-kun, you've got to help!"

"Shinra, dearest friend of mine, calm down. Being the nice and benevolent person that I am, of course I will help! However, don't you think it would be better to first wait for Shizu-chan to come to us? He should be here in a minute and while I'm sure he heard everything, he might want to take part in the conversation."

"That's right, you did mention that Shizuo-kun is alive as well. Look, I really am curious what actually happened, but right now Celty's situation is of greater importance."

"Funny thing is, I'm afaid those two things are closely linked. You see... Oh, Shizu-chan, there you are! What took you so long?"

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of really pissed Shizuo. The blonde was drying his hair with the towel, while glaring at Izaya with immense anger.

Heh, some things never changed.

"Hi Shinra, it's good to see you. Don't worry, I'm sure whatever is happening to Celty can be easily fixed. Right, flea?. "

Okay, so maybe there were some differences. Shinra was pretty sure he never saw Shizuo acting so calm around Izaya. Also, the way he reacted to the news of Celty's state suggested that whatever happened in the last few weeks made some major changes in the duo's relationship.

"But of course! Nothing that a bit of being a god wouldn't fix. "

Seems like only one of them changed. Izaya was still as provoking to punch in the face as ever.

"Look Orihara-kun, this really isn't time for your delusions. My beloved is suffering. We have to get going!"

Izaya grinned awfully and chuckled, as if Shinra just told a joke instead of requesting help for the love of his life. Shizuo only sighed.

"I see. Well, you aren't much of a believer, are you, Shinra? Okay than, let's go. With a bit of luck you will start believing my version soon."

And then, Izaya snapped his fingers.

* * *

 

Shizuo was already prepared for the teleportation, so he was still standing after they arrived. Shinra however wasn't so lucky and immiedietaly fell on the floor.

Izaya moved them to the doctor's apartament and after confirming their surroundings went straight to the kitchen. Shizuo helped stunned Shinra stand up, while ignoring the other's bewildered mumbling and followed god to the other room.

The kitchen was in complete ruin, furniture smashed to pieces, tiles torn off from the walls and floor.

In the middle of destroyed room was Celty. She was kneeling on the floor, unable to move and bound by ropes of golden substance constantly pouring from her neck. Her original black shadows were swirling around her, trying to remove the restraints.

When they walked in Shinra screamed something incomprehensible and tried to approach her, but Shizuo stopped him. By the damage visible all around them it seemed that the wildly curling remains of the golden thing were in fact quite dangerous.

The deity didn't seem to give a damn as he walked to Celty and crouched. Both the shadows and the golden substance moved out of his way.

"It seems that the golden bitches finally decided to take some action. They are rallying all their forces, Dullahans included. Normally the transformation would be instant and painless, but it seems that lack of her head created some complications."

"Can you help her, flea?"

"No problem. It would be a bit more difficult if she had her head. Aren't we just lucky that _someone's_ keeping it away?"

Hearing Shizuo sigh unamused, Izaya chuckled. He lightly pulled at one of the golden threads. It started to curl around his arm, removing itself from Celty. With his other hand the flea made a scissor gesture and cut off the stream coming from her neck with his fingers.

After a miute or two all of the golden substance was tightly wrapped around the god's hand, resembling a bracer. He removed it and then molded it into a ball.

As Izaya held it in his hand the ball slowly started to darken before finally turning black. After that happened he pushed it into Celty's neck, where it dissolved and poured back into her in the form of a shadow.

"Done! She should come back to her senses in an hour or so. I would suggest not approaching her till then, there might still be some leftovers of sála present. I stopped the transformation, though she regained most if not all of her memories. All of her powers are back to normal as well and I even added a bonus."

"O... Okay. Look Orihara-kun, I'm really glad for your help, but I'm afraid I don't have a faintest idea what's going on. Care for some explanation?"

As Izaya proceeded to explain Shizuo hold on his breath. Izaya told Shinra the whole story about his divinity and then briefly about what happened after the skyscraper incident and how he resurrected the ex-bartender later on. Luckily, the flea seemed to be skipping the embarassing pieces and Shizuo was really gratefull for that.

"... and that's pretty much the whole story. After all you know pretty well what happened after you stopped me in the middle of giving Shizu-chan the best blowjob of his life. "

"Okay, I think I understa... Wait, what?!"

Skipped the embarassing parts?

Grateful?

Fuck, Shizuo should've known better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I realized that if I really stretched it here, I could probably make a "Knocking on heaven's door" reference, but I wasn't able to think of anything passable. So I'll just leave you here with that idea.


End file.
